Blood is Thinner than Water

I'm not sure why I can't speak to my mother. She calls me, but I can't answer the phone. It's not that I don't forgive her for all of the times that she has disappointed me, but I am tired of the feeling I get when she says some of the same things that she has said for countless years. "If I had the money to do this or that". I shut down my facebook page because I want a real clean start to a new life. I do not want anymore reminders of my past. Good or bad. I just want to try for some form of happiness or simple serenity.
My financial situation is beyond pathetic but for that, I have no one else to blame but my own poor decisions. I am just trying to tame this crazy man inside of me that wants to sleep forever and a day. My kids are the ones that keep me going. I would never want to hurt them, but I am really tired.