Blank Pages in a New Book

I essentially woke up this morning feeling as if all the memories I had in mylife never amounted to anything.

My previous marriage was a joke by all standard and how I managed to play into that joke for 16 years is beyond me.  Im trying to move forward...I dont think about the past much anymore because I cant move forward and I refuse to be a bitter person about it.   

What I cant seem to stop mourning is the oppurtunities I might have missed otherwise.  You cant get that time back.  I think Im starting to find the person I lost long ago before.  Ive still lost my trust in people, Im very skepti al of peoples motives so it makes it hard for me to get close and its very lonely.  Im living with someone and could move out but the fear of failure holds me back as the person I was with kept me off balance which caused meto questiom everything...even myself.  That in itself is a form of abuse.  But...in all fairness I fell for it and allowed it to happen.  

Now...im staring at blank pages in a new book.  It feels empty...it feels overwhelming.  Its exciting and scary.

I recently signed up for facebook.  I kept mylife private for years because I was embarressed I was living such a lie.  But..its embarressing now.  I have no timeline of previous years and even if I did, its too embarressing for me to expose.  Im taking things one day at a time and perhaps overtime..i will be able to have a somewhat trusting normal life.