blahhhhhhh.........................

i feel so blah......had urges to cut today but i fought them off....but i dug my nails into my arm, so i kinda faltered.....but that's not as bad as cutting so i guess that's okay.....self care was just major today......i have school tomorrow and i really don't wanna go, but it's not like i can sleep in and stuff.....i'll be able to sleep in thursday and on friday...tomorrow night me and another girl from school will be doing some practicum....i'm excited and nervous at the same time......i told my therapist that i just wanna go away.....she asked me what i would do if i took a vacation and i said that i would read and then do nothing......absolutely nothing....i would read and then do nothing....my dream