Blah

Life is ok. I am just feeling really blahh and tired. I know many people may or may not believe it but I think there is some kind of energy connected to me since I am sensitive to energy. I am also on new medication for my depression and I am having sucicidal ideation, self injury thoughts and ED (Eating Disorder) relapse. I am trying to eat more and take care of me. I have a surgery coming up and know that I need to take care of me and my amazing wife. My wife has been such a trooper with everything that is on her plate. I know that it will work out. I just need to try and stay positive and know that God is by us. 

Thanksgiving was good. It was mom's 70th birthday which was awesome. I am very proud of her. She is amazing. I am just proud of my mom being a single parent taking care of a bratty special needs kid like me. LOL.  

I couldn't ask for a better wife who loves me for me even thought people tell her I am mean. I am just verbal about stuff. I joke which can come across as mean. I love her and am very excited to have a family with her. 

I am just trying to go with the flow and sometimes I feel like it's a lot. Just trying to stay afloat.