Blagh

Everyone wants me to smile and be happy, but how can I? My baby girl got hurt? All I keep thinking how scared she was and I wasn't there to protect her.. I just don't know how to process what happened to her or how to help her process this herself.. My heart just is so broken that I don't know how to restore it for me or for her...   She has hardly smiled, hardly laughted.. Last night was the first night she actually slept, but woke up with nightmares.. I just want to take it all away.. I just want to give her the world right now!!! I am thinking about sending her to my aunts house were she won't be near any of the boys who has hurt her so she can feel safe for a little while.. The only thing that stops me is that Selfishly I don't want to go a week without seeing her.. 

I guess in a way this bring back my molestation and my rape. I know how she feels and how scared she was.. Everytime I fall asleep I dream of what happened to her and me. I just wake up more angry and more depressed! 

How does this happen? Why does this happen? I just want it to all end for her, and i just want the world to stop and realize how bad people of all ages, sizes, racies, sex is hurting this world!!! 

I hope my daughter knows how much I love her and how sorry I am for not protecting her the way I should have!!! I hope she doesn't hate me for not protecting her.. I hope she knows that she is my world!!!!!

I don't know how to tell anyone how I feel but if I type it, it all comes out.. I have my husband to talk to but I just can't tell him how I feel. I guess because he is angry too because his baby girl got hurt.. 

I just want to make this world better for her. I want justice for her!!!