Black Wednesday

I hate life more than I ever have right now at this moment.  Today is the 2nd anniversary of the day my so called wife did the deed with her om.  Day before Thanksgiving.... what a great time of year. I struggle everyday with the aftermath of her choices.  What she sought to gain from her tryst.  The triggers bombard me constantly.  Everyday I get to wonder if I'm going insane.  I wonder if I'm making things up because my mind is so jilted.  I wonder how a woman could sit so idle, all the while holding so many tools to help me rebuild.  She's nothing but a manager, an overpaid supervisor telling me what I should be doing, instead of recognizing that I simply don't have the tools.  I hate her.  I despise her.  She sees my pain.  She hears my cries of torture.  Yet she ignores my pleas and refuses to show any sympathy.  She pays no fucking attention to the hell I am dealing with.  Another opportunity gone.  Why... why will you not use ANY of opportunities you've been given to show me something that actually means anything.  All you have is your words.  How can you rely so heavily on words that have no meaning.  You say the same things over and over without backing them up.  Isn't doing the same thing over and over expecting different results the definition of insanity?????