Blaaaah. Interesting. actually

Is it possible to crave being gay?You see, i would hate to be straight.Even though i'm not sure if i am gay.Maybe i am just kidding myself.Why can't we just know what we think and feel?Why are emotions so hard to figure out?And if i am gay, how the fuck do I tell anyone if i physically can't get myself to say it?Why do i feel so unworthy?Ugly?Fat (even though i know i'm not)?Annoying?Angry at the way society works?Empty because i have no one i trust?Anti-social because i suck at making friends?AAAARGH nothing makes sense anymore.Not that it ever did.When i was small i was ignorant.Knew what being lesbian was (to a certain extent). Knew i had feelings for friendsBut didn't make the connection or something.Yet i still had crushes on boys.How does that work?As soon as i went out with a guy though, i stopped liking him.I've never been kissed (except truth or dare, but that doesn't count).Plus in truth or dare, whenever i kissed a guy it didn't feel like anything.Was it supposed to?If i come out.What then?What if i am the only one that will come out at my high school?That would be really awkward.A school full of supposedly straight people.They are straight.But so is spaghetti.Until you heat it up.Haha.I love Pieces of Flair.On facebook.Facebook is ruining my life.I am such an addict.I don't even do anything when i am on facebook.But i helps me escape homework.Until i have to get off the computer.Then there is no escape.My grades are so bad. From mostly A's plus high B's.To B's and C's and a D.And i don't even give a fuck.Haha.Stupid society.Homework.Why is it so important?I get why.I just don't want to get it.I want to go to Europe.There the homework doesn't count.In your grade.In England i think it does though.Fuck it.Fuck it.Fuck it.Fuck it.Fuck it.Fuck it. Fuck it.Fuck it.Fuck it. Fuck it.Fuck it.Fuck it.Fuck it.Fuck it.Fuck it.Fuck it.Fuck it.Fuck it. Fuck it.Fuck it.Fuck it. Fuck it.Fuck it.Fuck it. Fuck it.Fuck it.Fuck it. Fuck it.Fuck it.Fuck it.Fuck it.Fuck it.Fuck it. Fuck it.Fuck it.Fuck it. Fuck it.Fuck it.Fuck it.Fuck it.Fuck it.