bittersweet day

Cody and Casey's wedding was beautiful today.  The only thing that could have made it better would have been if Jeff could have been there when his oldest son got married.  It was hard to listen to the words of the ceremony---especially the reading from Ecclesiastes about two being better than one--my heart ached with longing to have Jeff there with me at the same time that it swelled with joy as I looked at my beautiful, quirky family.  It was hard seeing Jeff's parents and sisters, hard seeing Jeff's features in Cody's face, hard watching others dance with their partners,  On the flip side, the kids were great and I couldn't have been more proud of all of them.  Feeling happy, sad, lonely, and blessed all at the same time.