bittersweet
We have had a wonderful time celebrating the 2nd birthday of the twins. That is the sweet part. We've played with them in the snow, taken them for walks (okay Joe has taken them for many walks) which they love. As soon as we arrive the head for the back yard doors saying "out". They are definitely our pride and joy.
So for the bitter part. It isn't the end of the world but Cevyn and Brendan are breaking up. It is hard to tell actually because they have made the decision together and they are still best friends. You would never know they are not a couple any more. If she sees the girls do something new or funny, she sends photos to Brendan at work. They still live in the same house but sleep in different rooms. They girls are none the wiser. It sounds like they have things figured out - at least I hope the do. Cevyn is going to find a new apartment close to Brendan and they will co parent. It started when they were discussing more children. Cevyn wants them and Brendan is adamant that he loves the twins but he is happy being daddy to them. He said "maybe in 5 years". She is concerned that the maybe is really NO.
I had coffee with Brendan's mom today. We both figured that it has less to do with having more children than they (Brendan in particular) want to be free. Cevyn said they were best friends long before they were a couple so are happy going back. Brendan said the same thing to his mom. We both shook our heads and said we really hope it works. Robin (Brendan's mom) adores Cevyn and we all adore Brendan so I think it is as sad for us as it is for them. They plan to live near one another and have an open door policy. The girls will be with Cevyn because Brendan works long hours. But Brendan is welcome to come and hang out with the girls whenever he wants.
In the meantime Cevyn is apartment hunting and getting her finances in order. She will be getting some social assistance and subsidised child care until she is financially on her feet. Brendan is going to share an apartent with a couple of his friends. Brendan will contribute to the girls' upkeep. Honestly, the Grandmas, Grandpas, aunts and uncles on both sides already keep the girls dressed and spoiled (well taken care of I mean) so there is no danger of them missing out.
So as I said, it is bittersweet. I hope it works out as planned because we all love both Cevyn and Brendan, and their beautiful toddlers!
Lisa: I have missed you so much this past week. The hole in my heart is bigger. Cevyn could sure use your practical advice - we are here for a few more days. We have done a lot of babysitting so that she can sort stuff out. But damn, I miss you always and love you forever. Mummy
Replies
Hi Marlene, the twins are absolutely adorable! I've enjoyed seeing your pics on FB. Those darling girls must adore you and Joe. ♡
I'm so sorry to hear that Ceyvn and Brendan are breaking up. They both seem to want the best for each other and are putting their children's needs first by making the transition as smooth as possible. I love the idea of the open door policy. That will be so comforting for the twins. They are certainly behaving in such a mature fashion. You must be very proud of how they are responding to the change.
Lisa raised a wonderful girl and so did you and Joe.
Love always to you and your precious daughter, Linda
So sorry to hear, Marlene. I know it must be heartbreaking. I pray on a daily basis that Jason and Shannon stay together and raise Ellie. They seen to agree that they do not want any more children. Like you, my little has so much in between her two grandmothers and her grandfathers My little is dressed to the hilts by her Nana (all Carter clothes and too many shoes}. I do the toy department. Already got her 5 toys for Christmas and not done yet LOL.
Life is full of changes isn't it? This is most certainly one of them, yet just as Linda said they are acting very mature in putting the needs of the twins first. It is what it is for now and perhaps not forever, yet I have no doubt that the girls are being raised with lots of love. One can never have too many cheerleaders and Joe and you will always BE a constant in their lives.
These kinds of life transitions are not easy to navigate, yet keeping your communication open with Ceyvn will be key as she navigates this new terrain and Brendan too.
Aren't we so fortunate that we can come here to share all aspects of our lives and feel supported which I hope you do.
Loving care dearest Marlene and to Joe too as you wrap your heads and hearts around this "new normal." I understand that this is when Lisa's presence is missed sorely.
Hi Marlene! My heart breaks for everyone involved. I think because we are older, we see how this could turn out and how the children could be affected but in saying that, Cevyn and Brendan certainly love those kids and will try to keep things as stable and consistent as they can. I applaud them for that - they are thinking of those darling little ones.
It is so awesome that they not only to have their parents but grandparents, family, who are there for them, make sure they have what they need and most importantly love them.
Marlene, a tear fell when I read how much you wish Lisa were here - that Cevyn could sure use her motherly advice.....oh how we want that everyday when our grandkids are making life changing decisions.....Sending the tightest of hugs to you - Lisa's mum.
It is great they can be best friends. Some just cannot stay married but become best friends. That is best for all to remain friends! So sorry you are going through this. It hurts.
Love you dear friend, Joan and Brandon
Xoxoxo
I know how much you adore your time with the girls, and Cevyn and Brendon too. I'm glad you get to see them as often as you do, although I know you wish it were a lot more.
I'm sad that they aren't able to remain married, yet it sounds as if they will remain a family unit, supporting and caring for each other and that is HUGE! Very mature and certainly are putting the girls first. I'm proud of them for that and pray it all goes according to plan. It will be a big change of course once they are living in separate places, but the girls will adjust quickly I'm sure.
Lots of love to you and yours~