bitching about life
i notice i havent written in my journal in a while
i mean its not like there isnt anything to write iv got shit loads to write
I was thinking about religion and how stupid it is and thinking of all the religions iv come across and making fun of them all in my head and i was like visualizing myself writing it down and arguing it with someone but i just never got around to doing it.
Iv been playing tiberium sun alot lately almost finished it but my stupid pc keeps crashing every 15 minutes the gpu over heats i need a new pc i might get one next week im thinking i7 dell inspiron or maybe alienware alienware would be off the hook crazy but its too expensive.
I have a really bad urge to get high i feel like caged dog i wanna break the shackles binding me and run free run in the desert sands at night.
it was a blue moon tonight i saw it just before sun rise it reminded me of her. her ah my her its been a week since the mail i deleted all our pictures stopped stalking her facebook but i kept one picture iv looked at it twice in the last week.
my friend alice hasnt shown up online all week, the perks of having a life i guess and iv been a sad pathetic little shit havent I sending her hugs and what not what a fucking disgrace shendelzare you sicken me be a man you little shit.
I dont talk to anyone literally anyone, I dont speak to anyone on facebook. no one has my number i dont call anyone, no one knows me here i have no friends i dont leave the house except for work and the gym and the way it seems its gonna be a whole year like this.
God damn mother fuck shit ass cunt mother fucker i want a smoke right now. I wish i could scream i wanna scream my lungs out.
I tried turning to god Iv been praying regularly for a week now, every day i think fuck it whats the point but i say no remember the covenant you honor your half of the deal just do your bit help will come, help will come...
how many times have I fooled myself into beliving help will come that a messiah will come and save me that song keeps playing in my head not the whole song just that one line from smallvile where clark looks away and in the background a guy is saying "somebody save me".
I see my goals right bellow where im writing so i should update them to so lets see
I have read zero pages so far so thats no progress there
push-ups i do 2 push ups every alternate day for the past week still havent read the push up ebook though so vl give that a 5%.
I need to pray harder god will come he will listen I cant lose faith I must hold on i cant slip again iv worked too hard to get where I am I can not can not slip.
oh god i wanna cry like a sissy little bitch right now but the funny thing is there isnt anyone here so what if i cry? whats the point? not like il get anything like attention or love or freedom from it so its like why bother? theres a saying we cry so someone will sooth us but whos gonna sooth me ?
I must call on the spirits of old, the ancient protectors, the forces of nature
STORM EARTH AND FIRE HEED MY CALL
steady my friend
courage lad
honor
satyamev jayate
Al'shar Thoribas
thats about every war cry i can remember right now and to think i used to know so many of them once upon a time.sigh
may elune shine her light upon you
i mean its not like there isnt anything to write iv got shit loads to write
I was thinking about religion and how stupid it is and thinking of all the religions iv come across and making fun of them all in my head and i was like visualizing myself writing it down and arguing it with someone but i just never got around to doing it.
Iv been playing tiberium sun alot lately almost finished it but my stupid pc keeps crashing every 15 minutes the gpu over heats i need a new pc i might get one next week im thinking i7 dell inspiron or maybe alienware alienware would be off the hook crazy but its too expensive.
I have a really bad urge to get high i feel like caged dog i wanna break the shackles binding me and run free run in the desert sands at night.
it was a blue moon tonight i saw it just before sun rise it reminded me of her. her ah my her its been a week since the mail i deleted all our pictures stopped stalking her facebook but i kept one picture iv looked at it twice in the last week.
my friend alice hasnt shown up online all week, the perks of having a life i guess and iv been a sad pathetic little shit havent I sending her hugs and what not what a fucking disgrace shendelzare you sicken me be a man you little shit.
I dont talk to anyone literally anyone, I dont speak to anyone on facebook. no one has my number i dont call anyone, no one knows me here i have no friends i dont leave the house except for work and the gym and the way it seems its gonna be a whole year like this.
God damn mother fuck shit ass cunt mother fucker i want a smoke right now. I wish i could scream i wanna scream my lungs out.
I tried turning to god Iv been praying regularly for a week now, every day i think fuck it whats the point but i say no remember the covenant you honor your half of the deal just do your bit help will come, help will come...
how many times have I fooled myself into beliving help will come that a messiah will come and save me that song keeps playing in my head not the whole song just that one line from smallvile where clark looks away and in the background a guy is saying "somebody save me".
I see my goals right bellow where im writing so i should update them to so lets see
I have read zero pages so far so thats no progress there
push-ups i do 2 push ups every alternate day for the past week still havent read the push up ebook though so vl give that a 5%.
I need to pray harder god will come he will listen I cant lose faith I must hold on i cant slip again iv worked too hard to get where I am I can not can not slip.
oh god i wanna cry like a sissy little bitch right now but the funny thing is there isnt anyone here so what if i cry? whats the point? not like il get anything like attention or love or freedom from it so its like why bother? theres a saying we cry so someone will sooth us but whos gonna sooth me ?
I must call on the spirits of old, the ancient protectors, the forces of nature
STORM EARTH AND FIRE HEED MY CALL
steady my friend
courage lad
honor
satyamev jayate
Al'shar Thoribas
thats about every war cry i can remember right now and to think i used to know so many of them once upon a time.sigh
may elune shine her light upon you
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