bitch tits

So I'm in a slap happy kind of mood I guess. Its almost midnight my baby has been asleep since 9:45 p.m.I'm seeing this guy and I have this huge guard up like, I'm being a total ass to him because I want to see what his limits are but everytime i do this i know they are eventually gonna quit and give up.Why do I do this everytime? Am I that terrified of what might become of it? I'm just too insecure with myself to trust anyone. And I get so pissed at the smallest things. Is it wrong that I think someone watching porn for pleasure is a lusting thing and makes me feel like its a form of cheating? Or is that something that I should just suck up.I have a lot on my mind...