birthday shmurfday

I knew the last and next few days would be hard.  My birthday was yesterday and for the first time in my life I was not looking forward to it.  It was also my 9 month mark and that's all I could think about.   Randy would be the first one to say "don't think like that", but with Father's day here too I'm missing him so much.   The hardest part of my birthday was blowing out the candles on my cake and having to make a wish.  What do I wish for now?  Everyone keeps saying it gets easier, well I haven't found that yet!
Sorry to be so negative but I've really been down lately.  Hope everyone is doing okay and Happy Father's Day to you widowers.