Birthday Blessings
Hi everyone,
Some very astute moms here on FMO figured out that I had a birthday on Thursday. Can't sneak anything by you, lol! :) My birthday was very nice. My staff gave me a card and a cake, Ken gave me money (he is forbidden to pick out gifts for me after "The Year of the Ugly Green Coat") and my granddaughter's boyfriend baked me a cake. Christina (granddaughter) then gave me a manicure for my present and my daughter in law gave me a beautiful card. I got to spend time with Iysabella and Aiyva, Christina's daughters. Joshua (grandson) called but didn't come by because he & Christina's boyfriend do not get along but I appreciate the call. My adopted daughter Donna & family brought a present by today. So lovely to be thought of and cared for.
Of course I miss Ed but this birthday was easier, not the intense pain of missing him. Just a longing and a bit of "survivor guilt". Sometimes I feel guilty because I have been blessed with so many years beyond what Ed had or will have. Do any of you experience this too? I know it doesn't really make sense because if I didn't continue to have birthdays it still wouldn't give Ed more birthday but it is so unnatural for a child to pass first....But I am grateful for birthdays and that I have new babies in the family and that so many people care enough to take the time to wish me a happy birthday.
Oops - almost forgot. I had my interview for the social work position yesterday and it went well. I will know by next week if I got it but I have a good feeling about the interview.
Thanks to all of you and have a good weekend.
Love & peace, Linda xoxo
Some very astute moms here on FMO figured out that I had a birthday on Thursday. Can't sneak anything by you, lol! :) My birthday was very nice. My staff gave me a card and a cake, Ken gave me money (he is forbidden to pick out gifts for me after "The Year of the Ugly Green Coat") and my granddaughter's boyfriend baked me a cake. Christina (granddaughter) then gave me a manicure for my present and my daughter in law gave me a beautiful card. I got to spend time with Iysabella and Aiyva, Christina's daughters. Joshua (grandson) called but didn't come by because he & Christina's boyfriend do not get along but I appreciate the call. My adopted daughter Donna & family brought a present by today. So lovely to be thought of and cared for.
Of course I miss Ed but this birthday was easier, not the intense pain of missing him. Just a longing and a bit of "survivor guilt". Sometimes I feel guilty because I have been blessed with so many years beyond what Ed had or will have. Do any of you experience this too? I know it doesn't really make sense because if I didn't continue to have birthdays it still wouldn't give Ed more birthday but it is so unnatural for a child to pass first....But I am grateful for birthdays and that I have new babies in the family and that so many people care enough to take the time to wish me a happy birthday.
Oops - almost forgot. I had my interview for the social work position yesterday and it went well. I will know by next week if I got it but I have a good feeling about the interview.
Thanks to all of you and have a good weekend.
Love & peace, Linda xoxo
Replies
Well..belated Happy Birthday Linda.. glad you had a wonderful one !
Fingers crossed your interview results in a great job offer !
Hjgs, MaryLou
Glad you had such a nice birthday Linda! You do deserve the love and loyalty that you show to so many. Many more years and easier birthdays, Abby
HaPpY BiRtHdAy!! I love to hear when days are MORE gentle than you could expect...love you!
So delighted that it was a happy one! Oh, to be remembered is such a lift to your spirits. Had to lol about the \"ugly green coat.\" Glad that Ken is figuring out the gift giving.:)
Hoping that you continue to celebrate all weekend and all paws are crossed for the new job opportunity.
Much love dear LInda!
Xo Joanie
I am so glad you had a joyful birthday. I certainly can relate to the survivor guilt. It is definitely not natural to outlive a child.
I am glad the interview went well. My pinkies are crossed.
Hugs, Marlene
Happy Belated Birthday Linda! I\'m glad you had a good day and you are very blessed with loving family who care so much. I\'m glad the day was a bit more gentle on you this year. I know that Ed was right there with you as you were enjoying the day. I had to laugh about the ugly green coat. I will never forget that I got a \"shark\" steam cleaner for my 50th!!! I had been wanting one, but not as a birthday gift.....LOL!.
I do understand those survivor guilt feelings. But the passing of our child before us is so \"unnatural\" and I think we will always have these feelings in some way.
Glad the interview went well. Saying a prayer that it will work out for you! Love & Hugs, Kim
Happy belated birthday from me too Linda. Sounds like you have a lot of thoughtful people in your life.
Good luck on getting the position.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DEAR LINDA. I READ YOUR JOUNAL SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAD A VER NICE DAY. I ALSO KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE WHENIT SEEM YOUR ENJOYING YOURSELF THEN IT IS LIKE YOU FEEL GUILTY THAT YOU ARE THINKING OF YOUR CHILD BUT LIKE NOT AS INTENSE, OR I WILL FEEL GUILTY IF I GO 2OR 3 DAYS WITH OUT CRYING OR THINKING AS MUCH ABOUT HER. I WILL FEEL SO GUILTY I THINK (HAVE I FORGOT MY CHILD SO SOON) IT IS PART OF YOUR LIFE TIME OF GRIVING, BUT GALD YOU HAD A NICE DAY. ED WOULD WANT THAT TO. LOVE MARY ANN
Happy belated! And please let us know that you have that job! Love, prayers, and hugs, Sharon
Happy belated birthday. I am glad it was a good one.
Hugs PEnny