Birthday
Thank you to those of you that reached out to me on my sons birthday last month. I haven't written in awhile, although I do read the posts. The messages and journals that I read are so insightful and helpful. I have always had trouble sharing my feelings and keep far too much bottled up inside.I have found myself since Jan. 4th of this year pouring myself into work. I work approximately 70 hours a week, every week. I didn't seek out to start working like this but think that it is just a way that I keep myself so busy that I don't have time to "think". I work, go to bed and sleep for about 5 hours and get up and do the same thing again. My daughter tells me that I can't keep up this pace and will crash and burn soon. I just don't know what else to do. I feel like after my son died I am lost and don't know what to do. Life isn't the same....I am not the same....there is no joy in life only pain so what is the point? In the last 5 years I have lost my father, my son, my youngest brother and now my oldest brother is on hospice dying of cancer. Really...what is the point?
Replies
Oh my! Lots of love and prayers being sent your way with all those losses. I am so very sorry life is so tough for you right now. No wonder you pour yourself into work! Please do be careful though and take care of yourself, that is quite a busy pace and I would hate to see it take a toll on your health. Again, sending love and prayers for you and your family... Leda
You are doing what you need to for now and if you feel yourself becoming depleted I trust you will listen to your body and allow it to guide you. Hoping that in time the pain becomes a little less and the happiness becomes a bit more... It's the most challenging work of a lifetime to grieve the loss of our child/children and there are no manuals or guide books. Just many hands and hearts to feel and grab onto when needed. Thank goodness we have one another.
Here for you as each of you are for me and I'm so glad that you journaled. I know that I always feel lighter after I do and perhaps in some way you do as well? If even for a moment.
Loving care and I'm so very sorry for all your losses. So many heart hits coming and you need space and time to catch your breath. Do you find respite in nature? It's coming in for me when I think of you that nature is calling you. However that might look and feel...
Hand in hand, Heart to heart with so much care and understanding,
XO Joanie
Sending you lots of love and hugs on this difficult journey. ♡ Linda
You have faced so much loss and grief these past few years. I can understand your need to immerse yourself in work. But please try to find the time and space to relax and concentrate on YOU. This amount of stress and exhaustion can be detrimental to your health.
So many times, I have also thought "What's the point?". But slowly but surely through the years, I found that there is a point and there is joy to be found even in the deepest of heartaches.
Please take care my friend. This is truly a difficult journey but there will be blooming flowers and singing birds along the way. And all the while our loved ones that have passed as well as those still physically here with us are trying to encourage us along the way.
Love and hugs,
Diane
I understand the crash and burn...I did. I still do, but now differently. I think it is an escape for me.
(((((HUGS)))))