Birth story
So I finished work on Friday the 14th of November a week before my Maternity leave was due to start because I just couldn't do it any more. That left me three weeks til my due date which felt like a good amount of time to get the little things I wanted to do done and have some me time to just revel in the miracle I was about to experience.
I always had a feeling this baby would not go to its due date, he was consistently measuring well ahead and threatened to be huge, and my midwife and I were hoping he would show his face a bit early so he wasn't huge and so that I could spend some time with him before my parents land from the UK on the tenth to meet their grandson or join the wait should he not have arrived. I really wanted to get through the blur of the first few weeks that I anticipated before they got here so I could learn to cope and enjoy him and look forward to Nanny and Grandads arrival.
My friend always predicted the 18th of November and everyone laughed at her, because it was so early when my due date was the 8th of December! Well, I was deciding what I would do with my first official day off and to be honest I don't handle lack of schedule very well so I was a bit overwhelmed at the thought of 3 weeks or more just waiting for labour!! Monday rolled around and I lazed in bed a bit late, I rolled over and felt a trickle so I sat up and holy sh!t water gushed out of me, the day before id had a bit of mucus in my undies but didn't think it was enough for a mucus plug.
Well I spent my first day off work sitting on a towel trying not to move too much, my midwife told me to just wait and see if contractions started and she'd call me if she hadn't heard from me before the afternoon. Nothing happened except more leaking and a lot of nerves. She called me at 4 and told me to meet her at the hospital at 8pm and bring my bag because they may not let me go home.
Well once they'd monitored the baby and decided he was ok a plan was decided to induce me the next morning once my waters had been gone for 24 hours unless labour started naturally overnight. So naturally I spent the whole night crapping myself and over analysing every twinge. I really didn't want to be induced!!! I have seen an induced labour and have also heard nothing good about them and it wasn't what I wanted, I wanted a gradual labour to help me manage the pain.........Not to be!
8.30 am they gave me an internal to see if my cervix had opened atall! Holy hell, with all the IVF stuff I wasn't worried about an internal, well I didn't know they were gonna dig around elbow deep with a finger groping around inside my cervix!!! It was not nice! and made me more terrified of what was coming since I knew that would be nothing in comparison. 9 am sentozin drip attached, oh and the obstetrician warned me to talk about pain management since the IV would make labour quicker and more intense! Yay!!
Anyway my contractions started pretty much straight away and got more and more intense, they had me on the iv and the monitor so I couldn't use any of my relaxation pain management techniques. At 12.30 my birth report says active labour started, and he was born at 9.16 pm 11/18/14. My Iv came out half way through with all my writhing and I have a massive bruise where the sentozin was leaking into my arm and there was a stall in my progress until the drip came out altogether and someone noticed. They replaced the drip and the pace picked up again, much to my disgust!
I used gas and air for the worst of the active labour and then they took it off me so I could push effectively, which I had to do for 2 hours!! Finally when they threatened forceps I managed to get a good enough push to get him out!!!
It was a full on experience and its very scary suddenly having this amazing little man I thought I never would, but I think the hardest part atm is that it all feel sso hard and daunting, and you start wondering if you knew what you were wishing for, I feel sick even thinking about the responsibility and the fresh challenges ahead! But I know its all natural hormones!!! I just feel bad feeling sad after having such an amazing gift bestowed upon me!!!
I am still thinking of all you ladies trying and that's where some of the guilt for not being 100 over the moon all the time comes from.
Love you all, pictures soon
I always had a feeling this baby would not go to its due date, he was consistently measuring well ahead and threatened to be huge, and my midwife and I were hoping he would show his face a bit early so he wasn't huge and so that I could spend some time with him before my parents land from the UK on the tenth to meet their grandson or join the wait should he not have arrived. I really wanted to get through the blur of the first few weeks that I anticipated before they got here so I could learn to cope and enjoy him and look forward to Nanny and Grandads arrival.
My friend always predicted the 18th of November and everyone laughed at her, because it was so early when my due date was the 8th of December! Well, I was deciding what I would do with my first official day off and to be honest I don't handle lack of schedule very well so I was a bit overwhelmed at the thought of 3 weeks or more just waiting for labour!! Monday rolled around and I lazed in bed a bit late, I rolled over and felt a trickle so I sat up and holy sh!t water gushed out of me, the day before id had a bit of mucus in my undies but didn't think it was enough for a mucus plug.
Well I spent my first day off work sitting on a towel trying not to move too much, my midwife told me to just wait and see if contractions started and she'd call me if she hadn't heard from me before the afternoon. Nothing happened except more leaking and a lot of nerves. She called me at 4 and told me to meet her at the hospital at 8pm and bring my bag because they may not let me go home.
Well once they'd monitored the baby and decided he was ok a plan was decided to induce me the next morning once my waters had been gone for 24 hours unless labour started naturally overnight. So naturally I spent the whole night crapping myself and over analysing every twinge. I really didn't want to be induced!!! I have seen an induced labour and have also heard nothing good about them and it wasn't what I wanted, I wanted a gradual labour to help me manage the pain.........Not to be!
8.30 am they gave me an internal to see if my cervix had opened atall! Holy hell, with all the IVF stuff I wasn't worried about an internal, well I didn't know they were gonna dig around elbow deep with a finger groping around inside my cervix!!! It was not nice! and made me more terrified of what was coming since I knew that would be nothing in comparison. 9 am sentozin drip attached, oh and the obstetrician warned me to talk about pain management since the IV would make labour quicker and more intense! Yay!!
Anyway my contractions started pretty much straight away and got more and more intense, they had me on the iv and the monitor so I couldn't use any of my relaxation pain management techniques. At 12.30 my birth report says active labour started, and he was born at 9.16 pm 11/18/14. My Iv came out half way through with all my writhing and I have a massive bruise where the sentozin was leaking into my arm and there was a stall in my progress until the drip came out altogether and someone noticed. They replaced the drip and the pace picked up again, much to my disgust!
I used gas and air for the worst of the active labour and then they took it off me so I could push effectively, which I had to do for 2 hours!! Finally when they threatened forceps I managed to get a good enough push to get him out!!!
It was a full on experience and its very scary suddenly having this amazing little man I thought I never would, but I think the hardest part atm is that it all feel sso hard and daunting, and you start wondering if you knew what you were wishing for, I feel sick even thinking about the responsibility and the fresh challenges ahead! But I know its all natural hormones!!! I just feel bad feeling sad after having such an amazing gift bestowed upon me!!!
I am still thinking of all you ladies trying and that's where some of the guilt for not being 100 over the moon all the time comes from.
Love you all, pictures soon
Replies
Congrats! Thanks for sharing your story. I\'m glad all went well and you now have your little one with you, and early enough to spend time with him before family comes. Don\'t worry or feel ashamed about your emotions. You went through a great ordeal, and now have a huge responsibility. It\'s natural. I love your honesty too. I hope things are going great and you are getting at least a little sleep :)
Congratulations on the birth of your little boy:) It is so normal to have a vast array of emotions. And to feel overwhelmed. I went through a difficult time after the birth of my daughter. I think sometimes when the birth experience is difficult, these feelings are more likely to occur. Because we\'re exhausted. It\'s OK to feel overwhelmed. And you don\'t need to compound it with feeling sad or guilty or bad in any way about it. I think society sometimes presents this fantasy image of what we\'re \"supposed\" to feel like in those early days. And that\'s just not reality. Pregnancy is sort of a calm before the storm :) in a sense. It\'s not that having a child or raising a child is a storm. And it\'s not that pregnancy is pure calm without its worries. But once the child is born, chaos does break out a bit :) And when you add that onto exhaustion and plummeting hormones, it can feel like a lot to contend with. It\'s like starting a brand new job (tenfold because we are talking about the care of a human being!) when feeling the most depleted we have ever felt. It is ok to not feel over the moon all the time. Or if this was the case---to even feel not over the moon at all. Better days and feelings will come and evolve. I know this got a bit lengthy but I would have loved for someone to have said these words to me when I was struggling after the birth of my daughter :) I would have experienced a lot less guilt. I look forward to photos of your little one :)
Thanks for kind words, I feel like a horrible person for posting them, especially here, but this was a place of sharing and understanding for me before all this and it felt right.
Wow! You go girl. I\'m so proud of you for saying NOT ME! I on the other hand had my water break, and I went instantly for the drugs and the inducing. :-) You are one strong lady for pushing for 2 hours and also very determined. Sooooooo excited for you. Hope you see this post and add more on how motherhood is going.