Bike riding...
Bike riding... It's a good thing they say... Good for the body and helpfully over time, good for the mind. Good for battling the ever present sadness.
I started with 10 mile rides, a month ago. One or so a week and then more. It took a few weeks to get the feeling of things again. Being fifty one means you don't just hop in the saddle and ride all day without consequences. Things have changed so that making goals and warming up and hydration are more important now than they once were. And so those first few rides were about testing the waters. Finding out what this raggedy old man was still capable of.
By the second week I was riding 20 miles at a sitting and loving it, but only under protest. Lots of bodily complaints. Sore knee's mostly. At first it was riding 20 miles a day with two to three days of recovery. Which feels frustrating when you only want to get into shape and shed a few lbs. But then those three days of recuperation took place in only two days. At that point I began looking for longer rides to take. The first day I rode 30 miles, it was under the notion that I would simply keep going to see how far my legs would take me. 33 miles that first day as it turns out.
That's how far it is to this beautiful little town up river names Lake Oswego. Very well to do and because of this, quite beautiful. But it seemed so far away and looking at the map later, I realised that it actually was. But such a beautiful ride... From my house to downtown takes me 14 minutes through neighborhoods lined with 140 year old maple tree's that feel like a forest with homes shoehorned in. Once downtown, I follow the river several miles to the hill climb through the cemetery. And that I think is where I did the damage... Ouch. But once through that climb, its many more miles through paved wooded trails with the sounds of a creek in the ravine below... Utterly idyllic.
But then the next day came the ow... but I mean the really big OW. And I was down for the next 6 days. Six days not because of the way my muscles felt. They were ready for another run at things after 3 days. It was the knee's... It's always the knee's.
But then on the 7th day I took a 17 mile ride and it was perfect. Sore at the beginning. But it always is. But this was different. I had muscles hurting in places I didn't know I had them. Places in the middle of my legs, places in the back. Places all over the place that felt hot and painful. Places that stung. Which is why I did only 17 miles that first day back. But in truth all of that took place in the first 3 to 4 miles. And that once I warmed up, the rest of the day was fantastic. I felt so good that I planned another (let see how far my legs will take me ride.) But this time staying to the rivers edge and no hill climbs. And so I rode 17 miles up river the very next day before turning to come home again. And then another 33 miles the following day. I meant to only ride 20 miles both days but got carried away. And each of these rides the trip home is brutally exhausting. And I think that for time constraints I will limit my daily rides to 20 to 30 miles as any more than that takes up too much time.
The goal now it to be able to take that 20 to 30 mile ride every day, rain or shine, with longer conditioning rides on the weekends. To integrate it seamlessly into my routine. This is my tonic now... my medicine. At least that's the hope. To chase away the sadness. We'll see. But at the very least, spending the summer months under the sun pursuing a lost vigor cannot be a bad thing. And I have my goal to pursue. Sixty miles from my front door and at the end of a 9000' elevation climb is the Timberline Lodge on the western face of Mt Hood. I've lived here for 12 years and have yet to see it. Its the site for the Kubrick film The Shinning and was a public works project during the depression. Its built at the timberline where the air gets too thin to support tree growth at about 6000' and I plan to ride there by the end of summer. After that, who knows... Its the same distance riding to the coast... And the idea of having breakfast at my place, lunch overlooking the sea and then dinner at my place again feels especially empowering to me this summer.
Will all of this make the sadness leave me? I doubt it. I doubt it will ever leave. But I'm finished feeling its effects at home, you know? Finished feeling helpless about the whole thing. If I'm going to feel sad from now on, at least my body will feel better... Which has to help something. I've been sober now for over 5 years. Quit smoking over 2 years ago. This feels like the next step for me. A step into a better reality.
I started with 10 mile rides, a month ago. One or so a week and then more. It took a few weeks to get the feeling of things again. Being fifty one means you don't just hop in the saddle and ride all day without consequences. Things have changed so that making goals and warming up and hydration are more important now than they once were. And so those first few rides were about testing the waters. Finding out what this raggedy old man was still capable of.
By the second week I was riding 20 miles at a sitting and loving it, but only under protest. Lots of bodily complaints. Sore knee's mostly. At first it was riding 20 miles a day with two to three days of recovery. Which feels frustrating when you only want to get into shape and shed a few lbs. But then those three days of recuperation took place in only two days. At that point I began looking for longer rides to take. The first day I rode 30 miles, it was under the notion that I would simply keep going to see how far my legs would take me. 33 miles that first day as it turns out.
That's how far it is to this beautiful little town up river names Lake Oswego. Very well to do and because of this, quite beautiful. But it seemed so far away and looking at the map later, I realised that it actually was. But such a beautiful ride... From my house to downtown takes me 14 minutes through neighborhoods lined with 140 year old maple tree's that feel like a forest with homes shoehorned in. Once downtown, I follow the river several miles to the hill climb through the cemetery. And that I think is where I did the damage... Ouch. But once through that climb, its many more miles through paved wooded trails with the sounds of a creek in the ravine below... Utterly idyllic.
But then the next day came the ow... but I mean the really big OW. And I was down for the next 6 days. Six days not because of the way my muscles felt. They were ready for another run at things after 3 days. It was the knee's... It's always the knee's.
But then on the 7th day I took a 17 mile ride and it was perfect. Sore at the beginning. But it always is. But this was different. I had muscles hurting in places I didn't know I had them. Places in the middle of my legs, places in the back. Places all over the place that felt hot and painful. Places that stung. Which is why I did only 17 miles that first day back. But in truth all of that took place in the first 3 to 4 miles. And that once I warmed up, the rest of the day was fantastic. I felt so good that I planned another (let see how far my legs will take me ride.) But this time staying to the rivers edge and no hill climbs. And so I rode 17 miles up river the very next day before turning to come home again. And then another 33 miles the following day. I meant to only ride 20 miles both days but got carried away. And each of these rides the trip home is brutally exhausting. And I think that for time constraints I will limit my daily rides to 20 to 30 miles as any more than that takes up too much time.
The goal now it to be able to take that 20 to 30 mile ride every day, rain or shine, with longer conditioning rides on the weekends. To integrate it seamlessly into my routine. This is my tonic now... my medicine. At least that's the hope. To chase away the sadness. We'll see. But at the very least, spending the summer months under the sun pursuing a lost vigor cannot be a bad thing. And I have my goal to pursue. Sixty miles from my front door and at the end of a 9000' elevation climb is the Timberline Lodge on the western face of Mt Hood. I've lived here for 12 years and have yet to see it. Its the site for the Kubrick film The Shinning and was a public works project during the depression. Its built at the timberline where the air gets too thin to support tree growth at about 6000' and I plan to ride there by the end of summer. After that, who knows... Its the same distance riding to the coast... And the idea of having breakfast at my place, lunch overlooking the sea and then dinner at my place again feels especially empowering to me this summer.
Will all of this make the sadness leave me? I doubt it. I doubt it will ever leave. But I'm finished feeling its effects at home, you know? Finished feeling helpless about the whole thing. If I'm going to feel sad from now on, at least my body will feel better... Which has to help something. I've been sober now for over 5 years. Quit smoking over 2 years ago. This feels like the next step for me. A step into a better reality.
Replies
Wow!!!! You must be in pretty darn good shape!!!!
I\'m in absolutely dreadful shape, but I must admit, I feel it mostly in my knees. I can tell it\'s joint pain and not muscles.
I think your plans and your progress are remarkable!!! And so good for you!!! I stopped drinking and smoking about 3 years ago. You\'re doing the right thing, taking the first next step on your way to health!!!
It\'s been a while since we touched base. When I saw you made a journal post, I thought I would ask you how you were doing, grieving-wise, but I see you\'ve addressed the issue here, yourself.
I\'m sorry for your sadness. ((((((((((Hugs))))))))))
thank you dear. but i\'ve always been sad. always. but i\'m hoping for a better brand of sadness, you know? since getting hurt, i,ve felt much worse. like i have no control over my life. that was before Angela died. i\'ll always miss her but don\'t cry so much anymore... maybe a little now and then. but that pain has pretty much moved on. i\'m trying to address my underlying sadness with better self care. and i do feel better., more vital. younger. aware. better in many ways.