big tree

Every year my husband buys a real tree. He likes it. I would rather have a fake tree, but i dont dare tell him. He puts up all the old decrations the boys made on it when they were young. I am the opposite,  i like everything to match. One year when we were married about our tenth year, i bought all new decrations that matched for the tree. Everything came in the mail. He was so pissed off at me for doing that. Then one year, we had this little fake tree, i was in no mood for Christmas.  I put that tree up on a table and said thats all i am doing this year. I was in no mood for Christmas.  He didnt like that either, but he didnt buy a tree that year. This year i decorated the whole front room. I did it for the family. I really dont want to do it, but i do it for the family. 
 
Growing up wasnt a good time at Christmas.  My dad was always mad. I never new why. Me an my sis would put up that fake tree. And my mom would help. My dad would always say we didnt put the lights on right. But he would always put those big old fashion bulbs on the gutters of the house. And me an my sis would get one present each year. But my mom would always put little things in our stockings. When we turned 18 presents stopped in our family. But i would always give my mom and dad something.  I have done that sence even though i really dont get in return. Why am i like this? I give an give.