Big Ball of Hurt

So my son did not come over on his birthday.  His girlfriend said they might stop by between dinner and the movie.  They had 4 hours and were just blocks away.  I waited and waited and went to bed so hurt and angry.
I woke up this morning still so hurt and angry.  They are both asleep in my house, because it was too far to go home after the movie.  I had to set up an air mattress and drag out sheets and stuff so they could both use me as a pit stop, but not care enough about me to let me see my son on his birthday.  (They got here after 1am so even if I stayed up, not really his birthday any more).
Just do not know what to do.  Want my son to know how much he hurt me, but do not want to start a fight.  I have seen what that does.  You get resentment going and suddenly you don't see your kids at all.  I have to admit I am just as guilty at this as I had a huge fight with my mother 4 years ago and now I never want to talk to her at all.   I don't want that with my kids, but I do want them to know how I feel.
I so wish my husband would step in.  I simple "hey your mom was pretty upset you didn't come by on your birthday" from him would let my son know without all the emothionalism and possible anger that would come through if I try to say it.  I so wish he would stand up for me.  But he never has.
And next week is my birthday and Mother's Day.  The biggest fails of the year.  I used to have to take the kids shopping or they didn't get me anything.  I never got hand made cards unless they did them at school.  I arranged to go to a play with everyone on Monday for my birthday and Joshua's, but my husband and my oldest son forgot already and I had to reschedule it for the next week since they had stuff going on.
Last year my oldest son did not call or anything on my birthday.  He came by on Mother's Day and just thinks he has fulfilled his obligation.  I wish someone would think about my feelings and making me feel special once in a while.
Yesterday was just such a pain.  I tried to stay positive and do things to make myself happy.  Set up a movie date with a friend.  Her daughter came home from college early and wanted to go with us.  She asked, but of course what could I say but yes.  So the daughter came and of course all they did was talk as she just got in last night.  I just sat and was the fifth wheel the whole time.    We didn't even go together, we had to take separate cars as they were going to ride horses afterwards.  I know I should be grateful she didn't just cancel and I was still invited to go along, but it wasn't fun being ignored for 2 hours.
Then my husband and son played video games into the night.  I hate when they play after supper and I am in the room.  Finally after an hour of again being ignored I asked to watch TV.  They turned them off.  I suggested multiple things to watch and then my middle son walked in so we agreed to watch a series we have been watching with him.  But my husband decided to channel surf and found something he wanted so on it went.  Completely ignored every suggestion I made, didn't even ask if I wanted to watch what he picked.
Just felt so alone yesterday.  No one cared what I wanted or felt.   Need to get these feelings gone or I am in for another bad day today and possible fight if I try to talk about this while still feeling so upset.