BFN Confirmed
I received the call from my RE late this afternoon from one of the nurses and this is how she began the call "Hello Lisa, well I don't have any good news for you...." Of course I 100% expected to hear that, but what I didn't expect is to start bawling when I hung up the phone and feel sooo upset because this wasn't breaking news to me. I POAS again this morning and it came out negative again, so I really didn't expect good news from the RE yet it still stung really hard to hear it. I have a ton of emotions and I'm sure progesterone and PMS isn't helping. I'm sad, disappointed and upset, and extremely nervous that this might never happen. I knew the odds, but I was really hoping my first IVF would work and allowed myself to dream a little. Now I feel silly that I even thought that. I keep thinking "what could I have done to make this work" like, maybe longer bed rest after the FET, maybe if I ate something different or didn't eat what I did, etc. but I know those things probably have little to do with it and I shouldn't blame myself for this not working. DH has been really supportive and great, and I'm so grateful for that. I have an appt next Friday with RE to discuss next steps but if I can, I'm going to do another FET right away. I hope the grieving process over this doesn't last too long.
I want to thank you all for your incredible support. I am so touched by all your kindness, thoughtful words and empathy. I am so grateful to have found DS and you wonderful ladies and I am wishing all your dreams come true because I cannot think of a bunch of women who deserve that more. xoxo
I want to thank you all for your incredible support. I am so touched by all your kindness, thoughtful words and empathy. I am so grateful to have found DS and you wonderful ladies and I am wishing all your dreams come true because I cannot think of a bunch of women who deserve that more. xoxo
Replies
Oh hon, I am so so sorry. I was so hoping that the news would be different too. You should never feel silly for allowing yourself to dream, sometimes that\'s all that keeps us going. You just bawl your heart out for as long as you need. So glad your DH is a good shoulder for you.
I know you did everything you were supposed to to make that baby stick. Of course this isn\'t your fault, and there\'s nothing you could have done different. However, there could be something that the RE could do different, and maybe they\'ll know what to change on the next one to make it stick. Trial and error. Keep hope that they will know what went wrong and have a plan to fix it on the next round.
Huge bear hugs and much love coming your way. xoxoxoxoxoxo
I am so sorry to hear about your sadness. It is totally understandable. I know it is not easy to stop the \"what if\'s\" but you did the best you could. Rest and know that good thoughts and love are headed your way.
I\'m sorry to read this. The emotions are justified. I felt so sad when I read how you burst into tears. My heart goes out to you. I hope you keep going like me, to get to your forever child.
Oh sweetie, a bfn is always awful but when you mix pms and progesterone with it it makes tears so much easier. Give yourself at least a week and tey to pamper yourself. Don\'t lose hope. I\'m sure you did everything great.
Sending you lots of love.
I am so sorry hun. Even when we know its coming its really hard to hear those words of confirmation. I wish I could give you a really big hug right now! Thinking of you.
I am so sorry. I know even when you POAS and it\'s negative it\'s still hard to receive that call. Take time to grieve this cycle then jump right back in. I still believe you have a very good chance. Hopefully the next FET will be the one!
I am so sorry honey!
I\'m so sorry. And you are not silly for hoping the first IVF would work. We all want the first one to work. I don\'t know why it takes more than one for some people but I do feel that more chances are likely to lead to a Bfp. Thinking of you!
I am so so sorry
I am sorry that your first IVF didn\'t take. My first IUI didn\'t take and I was so upset. The night that it came I just got hammered, which was probably not the best decision. I thought the same way like maybe I shouldn\'t have run ore exercise or didn\'t eat certain things but you can\'t do that to yourself. You still have to live life and I know it\'s so hard to not wrap everything around IF, I\'m still trying to figure out how to do this myself. Good luck on your second IVF, I\'ve heard quite a few people who have had to do that more than once. ((HUGS))
I am so sorry that your 1st IVF didnt work.. I was on the same boat 2 days back when I came to know that my 2nd IUI didnt work and totally understand where you come from, but hang in there.. we are both going to get our BFPs very soon.. and hopefully yours will be on your next IVF.. don\'t think that you didn\'t do all the right things... keep dreaming and working towards your goal and dont feel guilty about it .. and i\'m sure it will happen sooner than later.. Sending you loving hugs.
I\'m really so sorry for this, Sending you a big hug and wishing you the best of luck,
GET BACK on that Horse woman :) grieve quickly you need your positive attitude for this next FET :)
I\'m sorry about the negative. My first cycle I had the same experience and reaction. I already knew it was negative but hearing it sounded so real and final. I bawled so hard on the phone and definitely got depressed for awhile after. I wasn\'t sure if jumping back in or taking a break was best because I was feeling so angry and depressed. Jumping back in definitely helped to move on for me. And now look... Pregnant with triplets and I didn\'t even think I\'d ever get pregnant with One baby! Sometimes we\'re closer than it feels. Hang in there!
I\'m so sorry it was a BFN, it sucks I know! Glad to hear you have a follow up next week and I hope you can get started again with the next cycle! Hugs to you! xo
So sorry:( I wish it all had turned out different for you after all you have been through. Sending big hugs to you...xoxo