Between the joy and horror that life can bring

we are "trained" to love life. since we are born we hear how wonderful life is, how important it is to follow the right path, to do what brings joy to you and others.
but what do you do when you do all that the book says, you work hard, you dedicate your life to your family, only to hear that you are rude, that you are a monster, that you don't do this and you don't do that, that you should do it alone?
more than ever, i know my grandparents wanted me to have a nice life and they did what they could - but I am beginning to get angry at this and everything that led me to the life I live right now. even them. I feel right now that it would not have been a bad thing to see the monster my mother was to finish with me when I was young so I would notave to live the life I live right now. I hate it.
tears roll down my face and all I think is to run, run, run... never look back. i look around and I think: what would I take with me if I do this tomorrow? where would i go? how much do I need to start a new life? maybe hide in the woods in NC or the snow in MN, or rush to a place never seen.
Oh, God, I turn to you because I really believe that there must be a reason for all the hell I am living and I look back to see very little joy. should this be the history for my life's forecast? then what is the point?