Better Every Day

I am so very happy (yeah, happy...ME. lol) to report that things continue to go well. Sometimes my patience still is being challenged  (Lord knows I need it sometimes, but he also knows I am working on it. )

The check up went well... Doctor is not concerned at all and did remind me that these lens are a bit different. I paid to have multifocal lens. These have no lines like bifocals, but instead is compiled of rings of different strengths. So as I get more adjusted to focusing on closer distances (still working on the reading and very close stuff) it should become easier to retrain this old blonde brain. haha  

I cannot explain how much different things are these days. My stress , worry and anxiety is way down. Granted, I thought initially it was because of being able to recoup and relax at home away from all the chaos and negativity. (Not to mention not having to keep on going with all the aches and pains that sometimes creep up on a long busy load day at work.... but it is more than that.

I have lost 17 lbs (not alot , but considering I have not gotten back to the gym or really exercising yet, not a bad start) I am feeling better, sleeping better with the cpap, walking easier and with more confidence and assurance . (You would be amazed at how afraid and wobbly I was just on an uneven walkway.  Then again, falling 3 times had alot to do with it. )

I stopped at work to let them know I  am allowed to come back in one week. (day BEFORE Thanksgiving). Initially I was hoping for the extra couple days, but after stopping and chatting with coworkers and customers, I am ready now.  You all have no clue, but... just imagine I am just as open and chatty in real life as on here. While I do enjoy just chilling and being by myself, I am also a people person. I used to joke when I was out whether working or shopping or simply running an errand... I very easily struck up many conversations .( My line was, my husband threatens me with duct tape at home, so when I do get out, you can't shut me up. LOL Now it is simply the loneliness and need to connect with others. And now SO VERY MANY are all searching for the same thing. This isolation and fear is really killing the quality of life for so very many. I choose not to be one of them)

So, as we are closing in on December, another year (very bad one for so many of us ) is coming to a close. I think back to Dave and I as last New Years eve we watched the ball, looked out our front door and saw distant fireworks and shared a half hearted peck and hope for a better New Year.... neither of us ever saw this coming. The sad thing was that we reached a point where we doubted things would get better. Now, even as everything is so very chaotic and unsure, I have faith and hope. I am finally understanding there is only so much I can do. These days I am doing things before I kept talking about and planning to do. I think I finally get it.  I kept saying I was a poor deprived soul and missed out on so much. I am now taking some steps to finally venture out of my secluded comfort zone and become who I used to and again do want to be. 

My hope is that I don't lose this (or allow any of the many negative Nellies , take this away from me. ) I also do hope and pray that others may be fortunate (or blessed ) enough to find this faith and hope and assurance that as long as we believe, things ( and WE) will be ok. 

Love and hugs, Kim