Better Days Ahead?

i'm not feeling so optimistic today. i'm tired and out of sorts. i took my sister to the emergency room yesterday and turns out she's been getting all these colds and flu from mono. she has tonsilitis now, and i woke in the night with a sore throat and hacking cough. i wish she would stop giving me her germs.  i haven't accomplished anything i thought/said i would this week and i'm losing time again in the fog on my head. i thought today was monday.  i think people on the boards who are so caring and give kind support and thoughtful advice are wonderful and i wish there was more appreciation for the most supportive. i still don't think there's a "popularity contest" attitude. i wouldn't be here if there was. i think some people gravitate to others just like in the real-world. the opportunity to make friends is always there you just have to reach out or reach back to meet it.  still, i'm not feeling so optimistic for myself. i see such marvelous potential and compassion in people i've met or interacted with on DS, i see no such good in me. i wish i did. i had such passions, such a belief in people and myself when i was younger and i wonder where that went. now i know a good deal of it was mania, but i thought at one point i was doing something useful and worthwhile. how can i be a worthwhile person if i'm not doing anything at all.  in my head i can say brighter days are ahead and that this feeling will go away, but i want to know that, to believe it and feel it deep in my heart; right now i don't.