Better day
Today I spent an hour in tears over my son...I did nothing but cry over what an amazing little boy he was and how I will never get to hold him in my arms again. Then I spent half an hour writing in my journal, which actually helped more than I expected it to. Then Jonny woke up and we got ready and headed to my church for playgroup. After that we headed to base to meet DH...Our former pastor has hit hard times and their Air Conditioning broke down ( Here in Abilene it's 105 degrees) So anyways my hubby and I went and bought them a window unit as a gift of thanks for all the support they gave us after we lost Jarrett. You know, doing something good for others is actually a great way to ward off your own grief...I learned that Its a much more positive way to take all the negative we are going through in our lives right now and create a positive for another...if you haven't tried it I highly recommend...Tonight I will attempt my first Ladies night out..I am celebrating the indictment of my sons killer...the first step towards getting the justice my son deserves ( Wish me luck ladies) All in all it hasn't been such a horrible day...I admit everywhere I go still reminds me of my son..for example I took Jon to the mall playground A place I took Jarrett since he was a baby...I broke down in huge sobs right there in the middle of the mall!...but otherwise, I'm still moving, still breathing, and still trying to find a speck of good in all this awful...I hope you all can say the same...
With all my love and support....Goodnight my DS friends...
With all my love and support....Goodnight my DS friends...
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The \"triggers\" seem like they\'re absolutely EVERYWHERE when grief is young. For me there seemed like no escape. Maybe that\'s because there were three people\'s triggers firing all the time...
I empathize with you, it is so very hard. I hope the social part of the night went ok for you. Sometimes I\'d be \"ok\"and then later collapse in tears and wonder what just made that all happen.
It took a very long time for me to start thinking positively other than the fact I knew they were in Paradise (which was huge).
I totally agree that giving of self to others is so very helpful and that is what I did also. I found it greatly helped to volunteer and I enjoyed giving away craft items I made. You are a very wise young woman! Hope your day is gentle and do hope you get justice in the end. But at least there will be one day, if not in this life, surely the next. Love+Hugs, Donna