Best smile

   May I just say to my senior class, 'FUCK YOU.'
   I got a note in choir that told me I was voted 'Best Smile' and that I'm getting my picture taken tomorrow. And I hate myself for feeling this... I wanted to scream for even thinking about it...
   We were at the beach and I was trying not to cry. You knew my body was scarred but you didn't treat me any different. You stood next to me and you talked me down from the ledge I was teetering on in my mind.
   I was watching you out of the corner of my eye as you said this to me, I was focused on the waves crashing down on each other. I remember, you said, "I know when I'm in a shitty mood and I just see you smile it turns my day around. You have a beautiful smile. When I see it it gives me hope..." Then I remember not wanting to die a little less.
   Little did all of you know, this smile that is so wonderful to you is 100% fake. You voted for a lie. You're all fucking idiots... How can you not see a person's hurt? I can see it from a mile away. I know that at least 5 kids in my 3rd period were abused as kids and they still have nightmares about it. Only one has told me, the others I can just feel it. I can smell the haunting. I hate how stupid we all are. I hate it...