Benched...

Well this time the doctor isnt benching me this cycle, I am. I decided to sit another cycle out. I  am too confused about what to do. I am always afraid of putting ourselves into financial situations. So I decided to wait until April cycle to proceed. Needless to say I feel really relieved about my decision. I have decided to focus on all the things in my heart to do. First I started a weight loss challenge at my school. I had 25 people sign up!! Then, I am going to start my mentoring organization back up called "Stars shine" for girls ages 12-14. I focus on how girls can cope with self esteem and peer pressure and all the other things we had to go through!! Last, I want to start a literacy awareness project for low income familird. I have a ton of students in my class that tell me that they have no books at home to read. I am going to do a book drive and have people donate children's books. I hope to give them out by the beginning of summer break. I need to get off  my butt and do it and stop being afraid. I know if I were to focus on getting pregnant, it would stop me from getting started. AND this also keeps me focus on others and not myself so much. Maybe it'll just happen??... These projects excite me so I want that to be my focus for now. Sometimes TTC takes something out of me. Sometimes you need a little break and it kinda feels good. Next cycle I will be up and running!! Oh, I have gained 8 pounds!! I need to lose some dang weight and stop using food as a comfort!! i go to my first workout with a trainer tomorrow. I must say  i'm kinda scared =)!