Being a Mother..

It is 4 in the morning and all I can do is think. What good does thinking do for anyone at this time of night? Nothing but pain! Tonight all I can think about is September 12th, 2011. One of the the worst days of my life. From the young age of 15 (before I had my miscarriage) I wanted to be a mother. I thought I was in love with my best friend. I got pregnant, I tried to act unhappy and disappointed but in all honesty I was filled with joy. I was going to be a Mom something I wanted so bad. On the tragic day of September 12th, 2011 I lost my baby when I was 8 weeks pregnant. My heart was broken into a million tiny pieces. Why in the hell would someone if there is a God would give me a baby and than take it from me?!? How is that fair?!? There are so many people in this world who does not want a child yet they have them and they even mentally, physically, and sexually abuse them. When I am one of those people who would love and care for a child with every single fiber in my body. I would protect my child until I took my last breath. All I want to be is a Mom. I am not one of these greedy, and selfish people who want nothing but wealth,and fame. In life all I want is to be a loving wife and mother who makes enough money to live comfortable and give my child/children what they need and some wants. I want to love my husband unconditionally and love him until my last breath. What more could I want than a family? I guess when the day my boyfriend and I decide to have a family will be the happiest moment of my life but I guess until than I will have to just hope for that day to come sooner than later.