been bissey

yesterday was my granddaughters graduation ......we had a great time her little brother 7 months had a tie and a hat so sweet ....my great daughter looked just beautiful......it was great ......today we went to town had a few things to get some food and some things to fix our truck trailer with  ...I have just come in from helping fixing the trailer and cleaning the pool and in a cupel of hours I have painting classes for the granddaughter that graduated her sister ...and she is doing relay good  ....I seam to have been feeling more up than down lately although...e .I do have some concerns.....but I am trying to stay positive about them ......and I am ....still following doctors orders ..I am number one and my h is number two .....and the rest don't count .....I raised my children ...the very best I could with unconditional love of witch I still have for them and they know it ....I tried to teach them to look after them selves and not to be followers .....make there ...Owen path .....so ...I need to trust in that and ...just visit them  ...and let them deal with all they have to deal with .....one thing I use to feel bad about is that I didn't take them to church all the time when they were growing up .....  but I did talk to them about god .....when I was old enough to understand what they were telling us   in church ..and understanding the  sermons .... what they were saying and the way they were talking about god it just was not the god I knew ....but being grown up in that religion I didn't them to be a different religion   and I wanted to know god   ......so I would take them to church for a while and than I just couldn't take it and stop going  ....I finally stopped all together  ...I felt guilty for that for a long time .....but I didn't want them to know a false god i wanted them to know the god I had always known   know I am not sure they believe in but they do all believe in each-other...and most important in themselves  ..........I have one son who has been going through a rough cupel of years ...I wish I could do something about that ..but it isn't my place any more unless he would come to me ...so I just love him and go and visit him like I do the others ......the family me and my h has built together is and all the hard times and even now only having a little house ...because is couldn't work ....so they never had as much as other children had ...but we took them camping ..baseball games ..other sports ..in the winter ice fishing ...sliding ....we spent time with them all as a family .....my most perish.memories ......it has all been worth it ....to see them all grown up with children of there Owen  has made me want to live i am so curious to watch the grandchildren grow up ....I love my little old house it is just big enough for me and my h I don't know how we raised all those kids in this little house ......this is funny..........at one time we had no doors on the rooms because we had a space heater and the heat would not get into a room that had a door so we just hung a curtains   up......so when we got a proper furnace..we put doors on .....and so we each took turns going in to a room and shut the door and we just didn't like it we felt cut off from the others and it was just to quiet and a little closterfobic.....it took a while to get use to having doors ......privacy was always respected with the curtains  .....I don't think I could live in a big house ...we don't have a basement Eather just a crawl space for the furnace and hot water tank ...the water pump ...and the sump pump ........when i bought this place I got it for 7000. it was a winterized camp with no bathroom just a out house .....underneath was on logs not even strata logs big ends and than a small end on the other side .......over they years my h has ...raised the house ....put a foundation and the sump pump ..added 8 feet to the back to build a bathroom and make a living room .....took all the inside walls down put better insulation all over in the roof to ....put a new roof on .....built a new porch ....ware we keep our freezer ....and winter ware ...added a deck ....changed all the windowed ........we have been here over 35 years .....we wanted to just tare it down and build a new home but there was a by law that we had to be 35 feet from any other house ...so we could have only a real skinny house like 6 feet wide .........we were not happy campers .......  I forgot he put siding on to ....now the flower in the porch is finished so this year we will have to change that ..........I am tired out now .....take care ...god bless