Been awhile
Hello SOTHS - it seems like it has been awhile since I've written a journal - I'm on DS and read your journals and am thankful you all are always here. I have been in a funk if you want to call it that and it has been somewhat paralyzing so writing just hasn't happened.
Well, school is back in the swing after Christmas break. The kids are sick, though with this flu. I was sick the week after Christmas but have recovered except for a cough now and then. My Christmas break was okay except for getting sick and moving! YIkes!!!Moving is so damn hard - where do we get so much stuff that I just can't seem to part with? I am about 95% out of my old place but now it needs to sell.....think positive thoughts!! That will relieve alot of stress off of me......financially.
Hunter is doing well - I just signed him up for guitar lessons which he wanted to learn. He has taught himself some things by watching you tube but I thought we might see if he wants to pursue it. He got a 5 string bass guitar for Christmas which I guess is awesome (LOL) and he seems excited about it. It's hard to tell as he doesn't get exited about too much anymore. Anyway, it will give me a chance to spend some weekly time with him after his lesson, which of course makes me happy.
I have made another counseling appointment with my counselor I saw for 2 years after my mom and Jennifer left this earth. I am not able to get in until 2/28, but that's okay for now. I'll just stay in my crazy head because I've become used to it...LOL
It's been a tough 4 years without my Jennifer - seems like thoughts, questions, reliving the bad times have a way of haunting me. It's my mind that I just struggle with so much......can't change anything now but sure wish I could.
I just wanted to catch you up from California - sending hugs to all from Jennifer's mom.
Replies
Hi Vicki, It's good to hear from you. Back to school after winter break is always wild, especially if you're not feeling well.
I'm glad you got an appointment with the therapist you like. Sorry it can't be sooner. I don't know about you, but sometimes I feel better just knowing an appointment is coming up - a bit of assurance.
I don't think I realized you were moving. Did you buy a new home? You may have mentioned it but my memory sometimes...not great. Anyhow, best of luck in your new home & hopefully your former home sells quickly.
How neat for Hunter to have an interest in guitar. Something he can learn and enjoy.
Take care of yourself. I know it's hard to write sometimes...
Much love to you and dearest Jennifer, Linda
Glad you popped in and shared how things are going with you lately. Sorry about the illness....it seems to have hit the entire US.
The guitar and lessons sound awesome! I'm sure it's a good one, and even if it's not "top of the line", like you said, Hunter is excited! It will give you one more thing to talk about and bond over. That's always good.
Oh the "funk"....certainly can and does sneak in on us sometimes. The missing never ends. Never. I'm glad you recognized your need to talk to your counselor and are seeing it through. We sure can let our minds run rampant sometimes, can't we? Just hang in there and don't miss your appointment.
Thanks again for writing. I think it's important for us to come here and share what's going on and what's in our hearts/minds. I'm hoping more moms will find their way back to this sight. FB surely helps give us a space to share, but this is our heart and soul.
Take care sweet friend and I'll be talking to you soon as we gear up retreat planning once again!
BIG LOVE!
Teri
I certainly do understand those times when major cocooning IS needed. Sorry you got sick and yes, there have been many bugs ALL over.
Music is such a gift for children and I hope that Hunter takes to the guitar. Lessons sound just right for him and each opportunity such as this is a valuable one, I believe. My Littles are all taking lessons from piano guitar, ukulele, harp, anything with strings you name it. I love to hear them sing too, those little voices.
Hoping that the time in-between as you wait for your appointment will be gentle on your heart. The work of grief, loss and finding hope in the midst can feel SO exhausting at times and when we're sick I believe it always ramps up.
You are almost all moved in, that is terrific. When "in doubt pitch it out" was my motto when we made our way here and I still feel that way. "Things" become such a burden for me and I know others adore their "things" yet they are more to dust, move around and deal with for me. lol!
Happy to hear from you dearest Vicki, and loving care to Jennifer's mom from Douglas and me always.
P. S. Thank you for sharing the feather happening, it made me smile. :)
Hi Jennifer's mom, Vicki. It is good to hear from you!
I am happy to hear that Hunter is doing well. The guitar lessons sound like a great idea. Music can be healing. The time together is a bonus!
Sorry about the blue funk. I have always felt down around this time of year. Since Lisa left, it is a double (triple) whammy.
Hoping your crazy head behaves until you see your counsellor.
I can imagine how busy you are. Influenza has taken over our city. Stay well and roll on Summer.
Tight hug Jennifer's mom from Lisa's mom!
Vicky, so happy that you have this additional connection with Hunter and music. It is a wonderful way to express things that are difficult and can be so uplifting too.
I understand about the funk. I am also in the same place just trying to let the time pass and maybe in spring things will be better.
Hugs, Kathy xoxox
Hi Vicki, I think most of the country is struggling with the flu. Glad that you are over the worst of it now. Hope that Hunter will love playing the guitar. My son, Jared, plays & so do some of his friends & they really enjoy it!!
Didn't know that you were moving but hope you love your new place! Moving can be really stressful, tho, & that could be part of the reason for your 'funk'. Also, your 4 years without Jennifer is difficult, & so is missing your Mom. Hope that talking to your counselor will help.
I'm thinking of you & sweet Jennifer & wishing you better days ahead. Lots of Love & Hugs from Charlie & me, Donna