Been along time

Well, it sure has been a long time since I wrote here. Not sure why I am now. Bored maybe! Frustrated? One thing is for sure I have had enough of this crap. Just had my liver scan on Tuesday, now I wait and wait for the results. Have to admit the scan is much more pleasant than the biopsy. I just have this feeling things aren't going to be in my favour. Some days I just want to say "to hell with it all" and then other days it's the opposite. I have gained so much weight I could cry. Can't seem to stop eating though. I actually had 2 1/2 donuts today!!! Can't believe I did this. Called the local gym tonight. Time to get my fat ass in gear. I won't even look in a mirror. For this I hate myself. Right now life just sucks. Anti depressants just aren't doing it for me. Don't really know what else to do. Definitely not seeing another therapist. I miss my life so bad. Thank God for my kids and my husband. If I didn't have them I know I wouldn't be here right now. Even with all their love it's challenging most of the time. I don't see my kids enough and that hurts so bad. All I want is to be nearer to them. Dam my ex husband!!!!! Although my husband now says he loves me so much, sometimes I wonder why. I wouldn't if I was him. Then there is work!!! Fuck talking about that. Will probably put me right over the deep end!!!! Maybe tomorrow and the days after will be better. Not likely.