Been a long time since I wrote to you
Hey Baby,
I was just reading back on my journals to you over the last 15 months. How did I ever get to the place I am today? Looking back on the sale of our home and moving back to brooklyn with my family, I see it was the right move. I loved our home so much but the lonliness was just too hard.
In about ten days our first grandbaby is coming. He is over 8.5 lbs already!! You already know what he looks like, feels like and what day he will arrive (can you give me a hint baby?) I am still so sick Joe and I have to wait till someone can drive me the 60 miles to the doctor. They are saying it is MS now and I still wish each day that this will be the end of this torture and I will be in your arms again soon. That sounds selfish wtih the baby coming, I know...but I do not feel like I can handle babysitting everyday as they need me to do. I pray that the minute I hold that love in my arms, my heart will melt again. I hope a small part of your energy will come back in our lives.
The best thing that ever happened was the lady from london who brought you through to me. There was no scam, no pretending, no guessing the initials of my passed love ones. There was just you and me and your "bursting" heart of love. I am so sorry that you were not able to pass over right away. I know that your need to stay was my weakness and pain. You always gave of yourself to take care of me, always~ You are in paradise now and yes honey, it must be as beautiful as you say. I feel you in my heart all the time now and I know totally that you see and hear everything I do. You made that known completely.
I am hanging on, still staring at your pics all day long and remembering your lips and the feel of your hand on mine. I talk to you every single night in bed lol!! Now that I know you are hearing me, I am not feeling so crazy anymore. I still long for your boys in my life but like you said to me, "let it rest" and I am. I know you are watching over the girls all the time and keeping them safe. Nicole misses you so much and we talk about you and to you all the time.
Know that I love you forever. Like you said, you are always in my heart and i in yours no matter where wer are. Every bird that chirps now, watching the snowflakes fall at night and seeing the stars in the heavens...they are all you smilling back at me. Pleace to you my love and I will keep praying that you are with God now and learning..still learning.
I love you beyond eternity, ME~
I was just reading back on my journals to you over the last 15 months. How did I ever get to the place I am today? Looking back on the sale of our home and moving back to brooklyn with my family, I see it was the right move. I loved our home so much but the lonliness was just too hard.
In about ten days our first grandbaby is coming. He is over 8.5 lbs already!! You already know what he looks like, feels like and what day he will arrive (can you give me a hint baby?) I am still so sick Joe and I have to wait till someone can drive me the 60 miles to the doctor. They are saying it is MS now and I still wish each day that this will be the end of this torture and I will be in your arms again soon. That sounds selfish wtih the baby coming, I know...but I do not feel like I can handle babysitting everyday as they need me to do. I pray that the minute I hold that love in my arms, my heart will melt again. I hope a small part of your energy will come back in our lives.
The best thing that ever happened was the lady from london who brought you through to me. There was no scam, no pretending, no guessing the initials of my passed love ones. There was just you and me and your "bursting" heart of love. I am so sorry that you were not able to pass over right away. I know that your need to stay was my weakness and pain. You always gave of yourself to take care of me, always~ You are in paradise now and yes honey, it must be as beautiful as you say. I feel you in my heart all the time now and I know totally that you see and hear everything I do. You made that known completely.
I am hanging on, still staring at your pics all day long and remembering your lips and the feel of your hand on mine. I talk to you every single night in bed lol!! Now that I know you are hearing me, I am not feeling so crazy anymore. I still long for your boys in my life but like you said to me, "let it rest" and I am. I know you are watching over the girls all the time and keeping them safe. Nicole misses you so much and we talk about you and to you all the time.
Know that I love you forever. Like you said, you are always in my heart and i in yours no matter where wer are. Every bird that chirps now, watching the snowflakes fall at night and seeing the stars in the heavens...they are all you smilling back at me. Pleace to you my love and I will keep praying that you are with God now and learning..still learning.
I love you beyond eternity, ME~
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