Becoming free
i just wanted to jump on here and update . I’ve been reading back on my previous years posts and boy have I come a long long way . Many thanks to everyone out there that gave me love and advice.
i left my husband last year . Took my daughter and rented a very small place. Struggled physically mentally and ffinancially but came out stronger. I eventually “ forced” my husband to leave our marital home. It was mine originally and my small business was paying the mortgage even when I was gone ! All of these events in to if his hideous addiction and betrayal caused me to lose every ounce of respect and love I had left for him . Now I focus on my children and grandchildren ; my mom and siblings , my AA program . I am not involved with a man . It makes me sad sometimes but I need to be without a man right now .
writung this after such a long and painful road makes me feel grateful . To those just discovering a sex porn addiction , get yourself help first ! Protect your heart . Frankly, if you are dealing with underage porn , get out now. That desire will never go away. That’s my experience. He can work in his addiction and perhaps succeed but you do not have to live with that mental and emotional pain. Be free!! That’s my new internet name.. free2bmj. And I am!!!
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Hi, I just discovered this site and I'm hoping to get little bit of guidance to heal. It has recently come out that my husband is a sex addict. He has cheated on me numerous times with prostitutes and has done and God knows what else. He's the breadwinner and I am basically a stay-home mom with a small part time job. We have four kids. We're in counseling however I don't feel that he really expects us to work out not even sure that he really wants it to work out. He seems to be very content being free and single now. I don't know where to start to heal, I don't know how go about financial issues, I'm lost and I feel so alone. Seeing that you have been through this is there any guidance you could give me. Is there any hope for my marriage?
I’m sorry I didn’t see thus message until now. Been going through a lot with daughter who is bipolar and now just lost her Dad. But I am so sorry you are going through this. I have two perspectives actually . Many years ago , when I was actively drinking , I sadly cheated on my husband . Once I got into recovery I realized that the behavior was so wrong and selfish and I would never behave that way again ; and I haven’t for 18 yeas. That being said , it’s his job to address that . You are I assume a good wife and mother . He may think you “ aren’t going anywhere “ because of financial issues and the kids . You may need to ask family and friends to help you financially to become more independent IF he can’t address who he is . That’s my take in it. I think a cheater can change but he has to be 100% honest and humble . You can break free also. It just takes time and yes, it is scary at first. So the direction really depends on him. You could stay in the home “ separate “. I did that for a couple years but it’s painful at times . I do know the financial pressure. I felt “ trapped “ for many years . Take time for yourself. I know people always say that but truly you need to get counseling for yourself so you are strong enough no matter what happens. Best of luck and prayers for your peace of mind