because i'm young
hey everyone!
i've been wanting to update for a while, just haven't gotten around to it. sorry about that.
I went camping last weekend and 2 weeks previous to that on a weekend as well. turns out I sleep better out side with just the sound of the water and wind (instead of the noisy neighbors and their big loud dog that barks non stop). However, the out doors can be painful... last weekend my pain went up to 7 and then i was stuck in the fold out camping chair unable to do anything while everyone else there was just looking at me wondering what was wrong with me for the last 2 days, as they did all the work fishing, gathering fire wood, and cooking. but i really enjoy camping, i feel like i should find a way to make this work.
I was having lots of painful back spasms (some on a scale of 9) and the back brace i had received back in July seemed to not being doing as much as it was supposed to be. so about 2 weeks ago, i took it to the brace shop and told them. they switched it out with a newer more comfortable one.
had a sleep study done, they just called me to tell me that my fibro is causing snoring but NOT cutting off my airway so i don't need a cpap machine. that's cool. they acually let me take both sleeping pills at the sleep study.... weird.
last week i made an appt with my podiatrist for toe pain in my R foot. keep in mind that i already have plantar fasceitis so i already do suffer from feet pain. and lately, my feet have been KILLING me, even though last year they made me the custom molded insoles that usually help. so the doc starts gently pushing on the joints in my feet above my toe THAT are NOWHERE near my toe and it hurt like a sonabitch! he says i might have arthritis in my feet (for both feet).... oh boy, don't i have enough pain in my feet already? they took xrays of my feet and now i'm just waiting for the results.
then yesterday, my chronic pain psychologist out of nowhere says i should push my self to go back to work!! HUH? he says because i'm so young and i have my whole future ahead of me. it's like he just forgot that i have fibro and all these other chronic pain issues. and the crazy thing is, i was thinking of actually cutting back on my activities because my pain has been elevated. all the older guys in our group dont' even have HALF the problems I do! i've never heard him tell anybody they should go back to work. where did this come from?
a couple weeks before that my new counselor asked me the same thing, that i should think about going back to work.
I miss the old me and what I was able to do. I wish i could wake up and not have all these things wrong with me. or at least take half of them away. Dont these docs know I'm trying my hardest to get back any part of my life POSSIBLE? i feel like i'm failing at it because it's hurts way too much. how on this blue earth is it possible do they think i can go back to work??
i've been wanting to update for a while, just haven't gotten around to it. sorry about that.
I went camping last weekend and 2 weeks previous to that on a weekend as well. turns out I sleep better out side with just the sound of the water and wind (instead of the noisy neighbors and their big loud dog that barks non stop). However, the out doors can be painful... last weekend my pain went up to 7 and then i was stuck in the fold out camping chair unable to do anything while everyone else there was just looking at me wondering what was wrong with me for the last 2 days, as they did all the work fishing, gathering fire wood, and cooking. but i really enjoy camping, i feel like i should find a way to make this work.
I was having lots of painful back spasms (some on a scale of 9) and the back brace i had received back in July seemed to not being doing as much as it was supposed to be. so about 2 weeks ago, i took it to the brace shop and told them. they switched it out with a newer more comfortable one.
had a sleep study done, they just called me to tell me that my fibro is causing snoring but NOT cutting off my airway so i don't need a cpap machine. that's cool. they acually let me take both sleeping pills at the sleep study.... weird.
last week i made an appt with my podiatrist for toe pain in my R foot. keep in mind that i already have plantar fasceitis so i already do suffer from feet pain. and lately, my feet have been KILLING me, even though last year they made me the custom molded insoles that usually help. so the doc starts gently pushing on the joints in my feet above my toe THAT are NOWHERE near my toe and it hurt like a sonabitch! he says i might have arthritis in my feet (for both feet).... oh boy, don't i have enough pain in my feet already? they took xrays of my feet and now i'm just waiting for the results.
then yesterday, my chronic pain psychologist out of nowhere says i should push my self to go back to work!! HUH? he says because i'm so young and i have my whole future ahead of me. it's like he just forgot that i have fibro and all these other chronic pain issues. and the crazy thing is, i was thinking of actually cutting back on my activities because my pain has been elevated. all the older guys in our group dont' even have HALF the problems I do! i've never heard him tell anybody they should go back to work. where did this come from?
a couple weeks before that my new counselor asked me the same thing, that i should think about going back to work.
I miss the old me and what I was able to do. I wish i could wake up and not have all these things wrong with me. or at least take half of them away. Dont these docs know I'm trying my hardest to get back any part of my life POSSIBLE? i feel like i'm failing at it because it's hurts way too much. how on this blue earth is it possible do they think i can go back to work??
Replies
Hi Blue,
I have missed you here, so it\'s so nice to read your update! But, hey, don\'t apologize. If you are getting out and camping and keeping busy, good for you! It beats being stuck in on a computer any time :)
So what is this doctor thinking?!! I can\'t even imagine that this is a chronic pain psychologist telling you this. While I appreciate his sentiment about you being young, for him to even suggest that the way he did, was down right insulting. That must have been so hard because I\'m sure his remark caught you off guard. And he should not have even suggested that since I\'m sure you told him how you are feeling.
I\'m with you on the old me thing. I miss the old me too, and that seems so backwards because the new me is supposed to be better than the old me. Not where fibro and cfs are concerned. Don\'t ever give up hope, though. The fact that you are young give you a better chance of seeing a cure some day. The advice that I\'ve gotten and that I\'m trying to follow is to redefine the new me, since this is my life now. It\'s not easy and I don\'t know where to begin, except for one day at a time.
So, I\'m glad you liked camping. I love the outside sounds, too, but I could not handle the lack of comfort or the bugs. I have a real bug phobia.
I hope you feel better soon! And don\'t let those comments bring you down. You know what you can and can\'t do, and the doctors should know too. But I\'ve come to see from others here and some in my own experience, that most doctors just don\'t get it.
I am first to comment? You have to be kidding me! All the good things you say in encouraging others, and you get only one comment? Round up the usual Suspects!
This is something I never suggested before, because it is something I do with pain that is really outside the box.
I am a pain eater. The worse it is, the meaner and more determined I get.
My dad used to tell people I could be kept in line by pain. If I had not heard him say that, I might have let pain rule me for life. But now, pain is the least of my problems. I have plantar problems in both feet, probably arthritis in both hands, my shoulders are shot. Pain? BRING IT!
I have been told by the \"helping professionals\" that my response to pain is not \"normal\".. Ok. but it works for me. Besides, don\'t they know I am a Jar-Jar? All of us, once and future, are, by definition, \"not normal\" that is because, old or young, we ARE the FEW and the Proud. Soon I will be 62. I have been doing this deal a long time, and I will be proud to see you take your life in hand, and do whatever your dreams can show you! Faith can move mountains. I have faith in you, Marine Woman! OOOOOHRUH!!!
I\'m stunned - how the hell do they think you\'re going to go back to work? I still work full time and if there was a different option I\'d be gone tomorrow. Choices I made early in life put me here in this place with almost no retirement savings, and I\'ve got five years (at most - if I can keep going that long) to put away whatever I can.
Don\'t let anyone else, including Bob, tell you what you\'re capable of - only you can decide what\'s possible for you. I understand that from a psychologist\'s point of view they might think you\'d be more mentally \"healthy\" if you did more, but first you have to BE ABLE to do more - otherwise it will have exactly the opposite effect.
Pisses me off when people who don\'t have chronic pain try to tell us what we \"should\" do. In Al-Anon we called that \"shoulding\" on ourselves - yeah it\'s what it sounds like LOL
As we also used to say in Al-Anon, approach your psych folks with a \"take what you need and leave the rest\" attitude. What they say to you that\'s helpful, take that home with you - what isn\'t - leave it there. Only you know what you can do.
Please hang in there! It is good to keep busy, it keeps your mind off of your discomfort. I try to keep busy, as it helps. Join a support group, it sure helped me!
!
These people are nuts ignore them and rest up and feel better soon!
I feel the same way And I know it suck .. HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON (or as close as we can get)