beauty bust

I wish I didnt care so much about what I looked like in a way. Wanting to reach my goal just feels so beyond me sometimes. I know I'm doing things to try and enjoy my body more but it's the fatigue, which I think is related to poor eating and depression that really gets to me. I realised that much of my self worth is drawn from what my partner thinks of me and his ability to look at and want only my body rather than others. I've been betrayed by him a few times in that department though,, I just wish that sense would go away. I'm going to marry him and I dont want to feel as though I'ms ettling for less, but I don't want to feel as though I'm being unrealistic either :(