bearing my soul

i am not good today. man, just a couple of days ago life couldn't get better. then bam bam bam.. tragedy strikes.. jobs get put in danger, and habits rear their ugly heads. my friend lost her husband to a freak accident thursday nite and it shook me to my core, questioning .. and giref..my husband is gonna have to lay people off at his work place and that has him tor up, i drank 8 beers last nite, did not sleep good at all.. hung over this morning.. cried and cried and cried..we went gambling last nite.. hubby said he needed a stress break.. any reason is a good one right?? so after bills we are already into next weeks paycheck.. so we spent 160.00. i won 250.00, we came home with 10.00 it is crazy...how we can swear off of things, me beer, him & me gambling and then just go right back to it.. without a thought. dear God help us...