be yourself

Remember when your mom (Grandma, , parent, or someone who loved you very much) used to say "just be yourself" and you thought "Oh, silly person-who-loves-me, you don't know anything.  The LAST person I need to be is myself."...?
Well, it turns out they were right.
We are taught to fight.  Many of us believe that in order to get what you want, in order to have anything worth having, you have to fight for it.  Fight for a 'good' job, struggle for the best house, the best car, fight to be 'successful'.
Fight to be someone other than ourselves so we can be 'normal'.
We fight our own instincts.
We fight ourselves.
The other day, I wanted to be a different kind of artist.  I saw art in a magazine that was like mine, and yet so very not like mine at all.  It was precise, delicate, intricate...and I quickly judged my work inferior because it wasn't like theirs. 
I went to my work table with a vengeance.  I worked my fingers raw, yet had nothing to show for it. Every curve I tried to sculpt twisted and mangled itself beyond repair.  Why was this so difficult, I asked myself.  I just wanted to be a better craftsperson.  Right?
It wasn't the wire, pliers and cords that were fighting me.  I was battling myself.
There is usually a winner and a loser in a fight.  So if you are waging war against yourself, who wins?