Be The Hero
New book I am reading called : "Be the Hero: Three Powerful Ways to Overcome Challenges in Work and Life" by Noah Blumenthal. Here is one of my favorite excerpts that summarizes the book: "The way you think- what I call your stories- can lead you to be an everyday hero. The stories you tell can make your life positive, hopeful, and empowering or bitter, miserable, and hopeless. You can choose your response to everyday events that might disappoint, frustrate, or anger you- to react in a way that casts off the victim mentality and enables you to act with a hero's resolve." There are three stories that we tell ourselves: "People stories. Heroes choose to feel others' pain and seek to understand their actions. Victims focus on their own pain and blame the people around them. Situation stories. Heroes see the best in their lives and appreciate what they have. Victims focus on what is wrong in their lives. Self stories. Heroes believe they can influence their lives and choose to take action. Victims believe nothing can be done to improve their lives." "Your stories are how you interpret the world around you. In fact, you are already a skilled storyteller. Unfortunately, you're telling the wrong stories." So I am going to work on this at work and at home. Vacation was nice. Spent some time with my Dad and stepmom. Went to church with them on Sunday and then another meeting at the church on Sunday night and a meeting on Wednesday night. They are very caring and warm people and it was nice. We also watched the movie "Fireproof" while I was there. Very good Christian movie about dealing with a marriage that is failing. So between the book and the movie, I come home to face my battles head on. LOL! Paul and David did not kill each other while I was gone but things did not go well. David got several more detentions. One more and he gets suspended. Paul was sick with a cold. Miserable, yelling, angry and totally shut down on me. David got his interim report card: 3 F's, 3 D's and 2 C's. And the 2 C's were in band and home economics. And it is a battle with the teachers, although David is not blameless. But he is finally getting homework done but forgets to hand it in, so still gets a zero. Psychiatrist wants us to put in back on Straterra. Says there is no reason that the meds are giving him the reaction we were seeing. Now thinks he is ODD. Possibility of sending him to hospital for a month or 2 for residential treatment if things do not improve. (David does not know this.) But Psychiatrist was talking to David in session last week and David just up and walked out of the office. My hero story worries about David. He obviously cannot face challenges and walks away from them or gets angry. I worry as a mom as to how he is going to be able to deal with life down the road. Kona really missed me. Got my face licked off when I got home last night. Flight was delayed 3 hrs coming home but otherwise uneventful. It was in the 90's all week with high humidity, so did not get a chance to spend any time outside. We are off to Penn State game tomorrow. Can't wait. If Paul and David survive until then. This yelling around here is just not good. I have to find a way to turn this around quickly. We just cannot live like this. I wish Paul would get some medication &/or go away for a few months. I worry about the long term affects of sending David away with whatever abandonment issues he has.
Replies
I think I flucuate between both the hero and victim! It depends on the day I suppose...I\'m more victim, of course, when I feel life is too pressing!
Today I think I\'m falling somewhere in between! LOL do they have that one in the book? ;-)
Sounds like a good Bk.,will need to see bout pickin one up!
Thanks GF (((HUGS)))
P.S. Here is some good news for you and David! My son, who was also diag w/same stuff, was in one of those residentual treatment centers for about the same month and a half! He came out better...learned some things in there! I mean it wasn\'t over of course, but better! And better is wonderful for some of us, right? ;-)
Anyway, now, he has worked for a company who takes care of people who have mental disabilities! he did very well there too. He did just quit (w/2 weeks notice...Yea!), and started working for City Mkt. a couple hrs from here. He will be making more money and have better insurance, as well as the opportunity to move up!!! :-)
So, there is still and always will be hope in these cases!
I know if you promise to visit all the time, and do it, he will see that you will not abandon him! You have to do what you can for his mental well-bein with the BP too...even if it means in-house treatment for a lil bit. It\'s hard, I understand! And, if its ODD, which my son was diag w/too...then that will def help him there! They also help the parents to cope and deal in the after care treatment! I think you will find it helpful, I do and i did!
(((HUGS))) again! ;-)
frndshpsrgldn I think God put you right where you where suppose to be! Your response is very moving and very assuring.
Yvette - this may seem like a drastic step but the residentual treatment may just be a godsend!
Gosh, your an amazing woman Yvette! You seem so calm and collective. But our the MOM and it just had to be taken care of no matter what, you deff. do not walk away no matter the situation. First of all, glad you had a nice trip and glad Kona was happy that you were back. Sorry the boys didn\'t do so well but I think in time things will get better, sure it will be tough, tough love, but in the end, it will all work out, especially you being so dedicated to him and let him know that your always there for him no matter what. Hope Paul feels better and all this helps him out too. It\'s sad and hard but I think the res. treatment may be the best thing too. Hope you enjoy your Penn State game! Super excited for ya. Take care and thanks for all your support and understanding.