be safe on DS
: DL :: community leader . . . "DS on the whole is a safe and supportive environment. However like anywhere on the internet there is always a small minority who can sour that experience."One particular problem for communities like this one are people (usually men) who befriend members and persuade them to talk to them outside of DS. It is at that point that the person's true intentions become clear. Or sometimes they may remain on DS but encourage women members to talk about sexual matters, particularly sexual abuse saying they have also suffered themselves."These people may cultivate a relationship for weeks or months before showing their true colours. Members naturally feel betrayed and hurt but as the abuse took place outside of DS, DS cannot do anything themselves. Even if DS banned them, they, or others like them will be back."The best advice is prevention of these kind of situations in the first place – do not share any personal details, phone numbers, e-mails, facebook account details with any member unless you are absolutely sure of who they are. Don't talk to anyone off DS by e-mail, a chat programme, skype, phone etc until you are satisfied they really are ok."If you do get caught out, even if it was off DS please report it. You can do that directly through DS or message SuncloudJD or acuriousfish."The following are some more general safety tips written by another Community Leader, Cliffskat.“If you receive scammer, spammer, or predatory type e-mail messages or hugs, do not delete them. Instead, use the Report Abuse form - you will find a link for Report Abuse at the bottom center of every page on this site - and report the message and user. DS will then investigate it and may need to read that message or hug (they don't normally do that - only for safety issues)."We do get spammers, scammers, and predators here just like everywhere else. There is a big difference here though, there are actually means to report it and get it stopped. Those types of people are usually banned pretty quickly."The Community Leaders ("CLs") spend a fair amount of time and effort assisting DS in keeping this a safe place. We can't catch everyone everytime, so do please be careful."I never use my surname here, or my children's names, and I avoid certain kinds of identity info. I play it safe, and you should, too."A big red flag is if you get a message asking you to e-mail someone off the DS site. Report those right away."Your Profile, Journal, and Photos have different privacy settings you can choose from. The default setting - i.e., if you don't change anything - means that anything on your Profile, including your Journal entries and your Photos, can be seen by anyone with an internet connection. I keep my Profile set to "DS Members Only" and my Journal entries and Photos set to "Friends Only." This limits who has access to my more private thoughts and also keeps my stuff out of the search engines while allowing people I want to find me to find me. I do not recommend setting everything to Private as that means you cannot get even a hug from someone who is not on your Friends list. You do have that option however. “"We don't want to alarm anyone but the best kind of defence against this kind of thing is prevention. We are posting this on several boards and will from time to time bump the post for new members." .. . . . Stay safe. . . . .Mark (acuriousfish) . . . .Jan (suncloudJD) "
Replies
Thank you for sharing this information. It\'s very much appreciated. Hugs for you Calebb. GB
Hi :)
I copied this a couple months ago, I think from a post by Jan. ..suncloud etc.
Oh, Sept 24! I was encouraged that someone would come out and say Community Leaders (CL) are actually on the job.
To verify this a person should be able to press there by the list of current topics/threads and scroll back to 24 Sept.
If we could get a few ppl here . . . . to be on the same page, we could tone down some of this caustic business.
Possibly incl Bill\'s comment today on sociopath. Ya can ignore things that you think don\'t matter. pffftttt. . . . . . (I learned that funny expression from a net-pal of 15 years now . . :) :) )
Tnx for the note,
Yours
I left DS for a long time because a \"friend\" said he was in love with me. I didn\'t feel the same & when I heard he had passed away I was devastated. The worst part is that he faked it. A little later on he friended me as his cousin. The timeline seemed fishy so I called him out on it. I alerted DS & all our mutual friends. It was such a violation of my trust. It\'s the internet. We all must be careful & I\'ve been on here long enough to realize that ladies are just as guilty. Thanks for posting :) It is a great reminder
its good advice. happy, I hate when people fake stuff on here. I\'ve come across a few that make me very suspicious, or when the lure you in with your compassion, they just cut you off. it\'s kind of weird and pathetic.
I read it again and I really appreciate that you shared this with us. when someone wants to friend me but they have a private profile, I won\'t accept. Hugs GB
Yes a private profile is a turnoff. Some ppl don\'t realize they r handicapping themselves. OTOH if it were someone who seemed real interesting, I\'d encourage em on regular public thread -- to consider opening profile up.
Tnx 4 note . :)
recorded Welcome
Welcome . :)
I hope you are enjoying this forum so far.
Things don\'t always happen so fast. On-line things I mean. But after awhile here you will have a sense.. for some of the characters here -- oops I meant persons.
Um.
We try to have authentic communication. I know for a fact
several ppl really try to do better than the reg\'lar impersonal Internet.
Okay long ago a dude was here only looking for a date; but since then
everyone here is wanting to share their hurts in life
and share others\'.
We\'re for real. And once more, welcome.
--- Caleb (Paul)