Be Careful What You Wish For
Through my son's death nearly a year ago, I've come to learn many things about the metaphysical world aside from the fact of its existence. One of the major lessons I've learned is that there is no such thing as coincidence. Everything happens for a reason even if the reason is a mystery to us.
Anyone who has read my journal knows that my marriage of 32 years has not really been a marriage in a very, very long time and should have ended years ago. Twice I started gathering information and paperwork and both times I was thwarted by fate. Not wanting to "show my hand" until I was prepared, I didn't speak to my husband about it either time. Imagine my surprise when he strolled into my room last night and casually said, "So what do you think about the divorce issue?" as though it had been a topic of recent discussion.
Despite the fact that I've been thinking about it for years, I was totally shocked when he finally brought it up. Too shocked to even ask him why NOW? And why so urgent after he was the one to declare us "separated" over ten years ago? And surprisingly, now that it looms before me as a certainty rather than a possibility, I find myself unaccountably bereft. I feel hurt and betrayed and sad and angry and scared to death. Somehow I was caught with my proverbial pants down and I'm just not prepared right now!
But here's the "coincidence" part that has me shaking my head in wonderment at the Universe and the "Powers that Be": I've been a member here for quite a while and have belonged to the group "Divorce after Twenty Years Together". Today, completely out of nowhere, my e-mail box has been exploding with duplicate notifications that "so and so has begun a new discussion" in that group. I have never received notifications about new topics before. I belong to several other groups where I'm sure there are new topics being posted today yet I haven't received any notifications from them!
So all day today, every time I check my e-mail I see between 5 and 10 lines of "Divorce after Twenty Years Together." I must admit it's a bit jarring to the nerves. I suppose it's Fate's way of telling me that it's time and I'd better get used to the idea.
Anyone who has read my journal knows that my marriage of 32 years has not really been a marriage in a very, very long time and should have ended years ago. Twice I started gathering information and paperwork and both times I was thwarted by fate. Not wanting to "show my hand" until I was prepared, I didn't speak to my husband about it either time. Imagine my surprise when he strolled into my room last night and casually said, "So what do you think about the divorce issue?" as though it had been a topic of recent discussion.
Despite the fact that I've been thinking about it for years, I was totally shocked when he finally brought it up. Too shocked to even ask him why NOW? And why so urgent after he was the one to declare us "separated" over ten years ago? And surprisingly, now that it looms before me as a certainty rather than a possibility, I find myself unaccountably bereft. I feel hurt and betrayed and sad and angry and scared to death. Somehow I was caught with my proverbial pants down and I'm just not prepared right now!
But here's the "coincidence" part that has me shaking my head in wonderment at the Universe and the "Powers that Be": I've been a member here for quite a while and have belonged to the group "Divorce after Twenty Years Together". Today, completely out of nowhere, my e-mail box has been exploding with duplicate notifications that "so and so has begun a new discussion" in that group. I have never received notifications about new topics before. I belong to several other groups where I'm sure there are new topics being posted today yet I haven't received any notifications from them!
So all day today, every time I check my e-mail I see between 5 and 10 lines of "Divorce after Twenty Years Together." I must admit it's a bit jarring to the nerves. I suppose it's Fate's way of telling me that it's time and I'd better get used to the idea.
Replies
Not to take any of the wonderment out of your \"coincidence\" I believe that DS had some sort of electronic seizure today. I got a whole raft of email notifications from groups that I don\'t even belong to and some new discussion posts on Divorce After 20+ Years showed up like 10 times in a row! Yikes!
As to your current reality, just know that we are all here to walk the journey with you. It\'s not an easy one, but you can do it. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Yes, I figured it was some kind of computer glitch, but that doesn\'t take away the fact that it just happened to happen the very day after my husband asked me for a divorce! Woke up to six more of them today and figured maybe I should just log on and check it out since I\'m now going to be a \"card-carrying member of the group!\" It\'s amazing how much your perspective changes when the enormity of the change ahead of you really sinks in.