BD called...

I have not had contact with my kid's dad since easter.. he's only called twice since then & I just let the kids answer the phone and then hang up on him when theyre done. Today he called and I let them talk to him.
-I'm proud of myself for not talking to him because it was tempting since I felt like venting to him about what an awful person he is..
-I had to breathe and calm down because for some reason I had a bit of a panic attack.. not bad or out of control though..
-I hate that I feel a strange "high" when he calls.. that's the main reason I cant have contact with him.. I dont want to keep falling into his traps.. I dont even want to give him that opportunity..
-It's tempting to text him and let him know what I think of him, but I'm not gonna do it. He likes when he knows he gets under my skin.. Besides, nothing I say will ever make him change. I've already said everything I thought of him in the past and it changes nothing.