Barely hanging on

I don't want to say goodbye, but it's so hard to stay strong. How long can I hold on?
All these little things... These little meaningless things are building up inside me and I can't shut them out. I can't shut them up. I can't shake the feeling that they'll get me. Tear out my insides, my goodness.
What goodness? I'm not good. I'm a monster. A burden, waste and unfortunate soul.
Part of me wants to die, another just wants to fast forward. Only one is possible.
I'm so scared.x