Banging my Head against a wall!
Yesterday was report card day. The proof is in the pudding--my son got an F in Algebra & Art (I told him not to take art, but...), and a D- in English. But let me say this: he is no dummy. He got a B in Science. (Thank goodness for Gym & Orchestra! A's there...) I know he is not doing the work. Even last night, he said he was "done" & since I was home all day, I knew he didn't do any work. So he lied again! Darn it!!! Even if I sat there with a gun to his head (not that I ever would), I know he would absolutely refuse to do his work. And he's an absolute jerk toward me. I told him that you can't treat people that way. His answer--get this--is "I'm a nice person! You just annoy me!" Yeah, right. How did I give birth to a jerk? Rrrr....
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Well I am sorry to see someone else having to go through this with a child. The frustration trying to deal with kids that could care less is overwhelming. I just don\'t know what to do. My son has suffered a great loss when his dad died and I was trying anything to ease his pain but now I realize all I did was create a monster. i bought him everything and never made him do a thing. I made excuses for his lack of motivation and his grades. All I did was make my life a living hell. I know he really misses his father and I can\'t help screaming at him once in a while telling him how much I am suffering too without him but give me a break I am losing it. No emotion just rude comments \"yes mom\" like whatever. The grades horrible and his teachers say he just will not do the work, Ok so how do you make an 18 yr old do his homework? I told him I would not allow him to fail and not graduate he would not do this to his father but he does not flinch. I am praying that seeing this therapist tomorrow is a step in the right direction. He is fighting over this. He has been sleeping all night. I got home at 5:30 today and had to bang on his door at 9pm to even see him. He barely opens the door and seems so annoyed to have to talk to me he won\'t even look at me. I told him after school he was to put in a few applications when I called him about 4 I ask him did you do it he got angry and started with the excuses on why he did not do it. After fighting with him last night over the same thing he tells me sell my car I don\'t care I was so mad at him. It killed me to trade his dad\'s truck in to get him this car because he made no effort to learn to drive I thought maybe the thought of driving that truck was too painful for him and maybe if he picked out a car he wanted he would get interested in driving NO did not happen. Now I am paying a ton of money to have him on my insurance and he won\'t work to even help. I have 2 daughters 30 & 20 and him 18 and out of 3 children my middle daughter is the only one who does not give me daily headaches. She works, goes to college and she pays her bills. She has some issues but for the most part she is a lovable caring person who has her fathers pleasant disposition. My son would not be nothing like this if my husband had been living, my husband would not have allowed any of this and non of my children ever talked back to him or would ever think of not doing what he told them. He was so kind and a loving proud father but he also made them listen and taught them nothing is handed to you that everyone needs to work for things, he and I would do battle because I would always hand my children things and he would say you are spoiling them and they keep taking advantage of you. I knew he was right but my own stupidity made me make the wrong choices. Now I look back and see how right he was. They respected him without him handing them anything but quality time. Anyway I rambled on long enough I just wanted to thank you for your message and let you know No you did not give birth to a jerk you have a teenager. I always wonder how some kids are so perfect and others have the bumps in life. Maybe the ones with the bumps will turn out better then we can look back and laugh. Stay strong and take care. You are not alone, I don\'t know how old your son is and maybe if he is younger he can turn this school thing around. My son is already 18 he failed 8th grade so he is a year behind now and looks like he will not graduate he has all E\'s and does not care. You can only force so much. Good Luck and I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Thanks for your support...My son is a freshman in HS, so he\'s just beginning that. Not a good start, I have to say.
I saw your Thanksgiving entry. Sounds like you had a pleasant holiday for the most part, though missing your husband.