Balancing the Warrior 3
While leaving room for a renewal of faith in the contractor, I believe I need to remain braced for the worst. Based on the performance of this past two months, it feels entirely possible that allowing him to build the lab/rooftop garden will leave me with an even nastier trash pile than the one festering from the demolition of the old building. Firing his stonewalling ass and taking a loss on the money I gave him might be the more economical action. I don't give a flying fuck what lives behind your stone wall, my honey-doing dear. I want the work I paid a hefty deposit for and I damn sure don't want to pay the other half for what YOU think I need any more than I trust your memory of our last design consultation more than 2 months ago.
I believe I am holding steady. My core support network is monitoring closely. Sincere gratitude, my cherished friends. I'm keeping my therapy toolbox open and active while I let this one be just plain hard. Mother Nature may be inserting her two cents worth in to the mix. The weather forecast for next week looks dicey. The best part of the project I have assigned myself beneath the studio windows is that it is on the opposite side of the house from the festering health/safety hazard I have been looking at for too many weeks now.
Small steps, big faith and lots of prayer.
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Always have in writing that work will commence in (X) days unless written agreement modifies that. IMHO, of course.
That said, fire his skiving ass and let that fall away, and keep the site out of sight/mind for a bit, and know that any contractor who refuses to agree to the term I mentioned above? Red flag! If they stammer/stutter "But I have jobs in line ahead of you"... Then say, "I need a professional, someone who can give me a date, not excuses, so sorry, NEXT!"
I'm a relentless bitch, I'm told, when I'm in my Job boss mode, but do you know, that's only b/c I look the male dogs in the eye and say, "No".
Puma power to you. Balance and peace to you.
My relentlessness in job boss mode earned me the constructo grapevine nickname of "Bitch of No Return." Perhaps in this thread I can call her, "An Unbalanced Warrior?" For certain, ^it^ lead to one of the meanest psychotic breaks in my strictly personal psych portfolio. I feel a sudden craving to listen to Red Hot Chili Peppers.
"I don't ever wanna feel like I did that day."
Glad it still works for you, Leo. Gratitude for the puma power wish for balance and peace.
can you get the county sheriff to impound the truck, at least that will get it out of your way. best case.. they can put a lean on them for you.
Hope the warrior finds her balance today. I like the balanced warrior image better than the bitch of no return, at this point the balanced warrior will put the bitch of no return bite on the lying loafer.
Hope you get to make that trip to see the family. it could be the break from the cold you need.
Well, bear in mind, men do hate a woman who looks them in the eye, that alone is enough to earn "bitch" as a pejorative label. And I am polite. I simply am not easily persuaded that I'm always in the wrong simply because I have *ovaries*. Have yet to even cuss at someone on Job Site. It's that you will do the work, as promised, or be fired. Like anyoen else, me included. So perhaps I am a relentless bitch, in teh bad sense. Or perhaps we need to re-define what is exactly negative about saying, "No, that is not okay"... ?
I've got no advice that you haven't known yourself for decades.
You've got my empathy. There comes a time where you just wish to pay the guys for the damned work...and have the damned work done with minimal fuss. Too often, that's when the scammers seem to like to walk in the door.
The man did have the decency to unblock my driveway. The truck has already been moved. Got my list of lawyers, et al, ready, should that prove to be the more prudent route, sis.
Leo, I haven't kept score, but I believe women still out-number the men on my list of people who have insulted my dog by calling me a bitch. Repeat: Glad this body of cliches is still working for you. Me and the Gloria Steinem crowd have been at odds from the start. . .
I've been wishing I had my therapy journal here so that I could review the entries surrounding the Bitch of No Return breakdown. Sigh. . . They'd probably just trigger me to hell and back, anyway. At last attempt, I still couldn't handle reading my therapy journal. I am doing better with the portion I have kept here, but those hand-written journals are still prohibitive. The strongest haunting from that era is a poem I wrote within said journal. Here is a paraphrased version.
Original written in 1995
I stroke the head of my newest teacher
A friendly, furry, four-legged creature
Teach me, Professor, how to be
What so many have said of me
"You bitch, you bitch you awful bitch!
"How dare you not scratch my itch!"
What's that you say, Profie mine
With the lick of my face
And your wagging behind
"Bite if you must and then move on
Tail wagging is much gooder fun"
Step up to the lectern, my furry witch
Teach me to be a REAL bitch.
Thx Patti. I'm at the place where I'll let them keep the money they did not earn (for now) just to prevent them from leaving a bigger mess.
Who cares what the contemptible pissant grifter that apparently doesn't have the balls to get out into the cool Kentucky air to do the job thinks of you?
Oh wait...is there a pile of shit in the yard over there....are you SURE that he hasn't been in the yard at least looking at the job?
No, I am not at all sure of ANYTHING he has or hasn't done. That's a HUGE part of the problem. Assumption is the father of all fuck-ups.
For certain, the pile of shit hasn't moved beyond the natural moldering in over a month. For certain a honey done storage shed will NOT serve as an aeroponics lab or roof-top garden. Cleaning up after incompetence can be far more expensive than taking a loss on the project.
It was supposed to be a joke. As in your dog left a pile of shit...that shit is a piece of your "contractor"...
And I agree with you about the poorly done renovation project.
When looking for my first house, we really didn't know what we wanted. I literally walked through a hundred houses...anything within my price range. A couple of the realtors actually used me as an excuse to go see some new listing or unusual house on the market. (The one that stands out in my mind,is this 150 year old house that had this remodel where they put a greenhouse type of thing up on the second floor...and THAT was the bathroom. Only a bathtub, no shower. Yeah, no. Beautiful old house. If I had 2 or 3 or hundred K to remodel (it also had lead, asbestos, probably termites...it was a mess), I'd have grabbed it as it was in a location that couldn't be beat. But it would have been a complete gut and remodel.
And if you haven't guessed...I'd rather live out of a shack.
Sorry for missing the joke, Patti. Yes, some humor could be a good balancing agent.
This is nowhere near my first house and I pre-screened the houses before I met for tours with the realtor. She was more of a legal rep than a shopping director. The small house was/is comfortable, as purchased. I knew the out-building was questionable when I bought the place, but believed the equation balanced. It is rare to find out-buildings that are suitable for climate control and roof-top gardens, so I was mostly resigned to needing extra effort in that piece of the puzzle.
The current project is not renovation. It is complete demolition and removal of the old building and fresh build of the lab/rooftop garden. The old building has been demolished and is currently a MUCH bigger and stinkier pile than any dog pile.
Yeah, you're doing something different. Sounds pretty cool actually.
As everything living and green that I touch turns dies...it's not for me. But it sounds beautiful. I picture something something like this:
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/c7/1b/74/c71b74ef66988603737cd1f1e82fbf9e--rooftop-gardens-rooftop-patio.jpg
Am I anywhere close?
You are in the general neighborhood, Patti. The contractor is only charged with creating a gently sloped (for runoff) roof strong enough to handle the weight and abuse. I'd had hopes of using him for the patio decking, etc., but that would take ALLOT of faith restoration. At this point I'm not sure I can trust him to change a light bulb for free. I plan to let the garden itself be a creative project. I want to spend some time looking at the blank canvas before I begin designing that part.
Folks have wondered if they should screen my blood for chlorophyll. "Green Thumb" doesn't quite cover my plant connection. Dirt is one of my basic food groups. I love plants, wild, domestic and feral. They love me back.
Amazing balancing act there arfie. Looking good. And steady. Total empathy. So not right how they leave people hanging for so long. Still keeping hope for you that it isn’t a scam and they will get it done if the weather doesn’t disrupt. Triple hugs and kudos for coolness
Thank you for the encouragement, Nancy. It's a tough balancing act. . .