Baffled

 
Hi All,
So far, I am really ty fast.happy to have run in here, by error.  I was looking for a group, a forum, or a chat community, where people in chronic pain could share thier strengths experiences and hopes.  Well, I felt welcome here mighty fast!  I still have my derned tears rolling down my face, If anyone has looked at my facebook.... suddenly, out of the blue, my mom starts talking at me.  Too funny tho, she just obtained a restaining order for 3 additional years.  Thats after her 1st one which lasted a year.. That was hard enough!  Reason?  I spoke to her thru this medium, FB.  And didnt go to court.  Two reasons, one, it would haave done me no good, and 2, I had awaited 3 months for a RFTC. (Radio Frequency Thermo Coagulation.)  Where there enter my spinal cord area, and actually burn the nerves that send the signal "PAIN" to my brain.  Its worked b4, well, gave me a years worth of 40% to the better.  I was estatic to get it again.  Now, she realizes I am hurting like all hell, and she talks to me on FB?  Shes called me on the phone, but, i havent picked it up.  In fact, I think I NEED to stop comunicating to her period.  You see, my entire family, including, and mostly my younger sister, refer to me as an addict.  Reason?  I DO take daily oral pain meds.  Too many to say, and One thing I am glad this isnt just a "forum" that sells drugs to dopers.  I need it!  If I dont have 2 tablets on my nighttand, with a glass a water, next to me, I am so deeply in pain, I dont have very much desire to get out of bed.  Thats in about usually 20 - 30 minutes.  Then.. geeeez, I take my capsuls, which are time released, but dont actually last 24 hours.  I sleep about 3 hours every night.  Have I ever taken too many?  I have to admit yes, there have been times where i wouldnt recall if i took my last dosage.  Does that effect me?  No, i truely think not!  I have actually an extra two months worth of meds, I am working for three months, just incase of a large calamity, like I'm in Cali... We could have a huge quake, and well, I'd rather be safe than sorry.  I know what my body does after he initial detox.  Yes, I went there too, via a :intervention" and my daughter, who was 9 at the time could hardly breath, readng her letter.  OMG, what a mistake, I was a truck driver, delivering beverages when I got hurt... Never got better, but, my daughter wasnt yet born, I knew we needed insurance, so, even tho all the docs, even the company docs, told me I needed to stop, I couldnt,!  There would be no way we could ever pay for Cobra, pre-natal, post natal, and all the well baby stuff.  Oh.. lol... btw...  Her mother had left her her sister, and I, and decided to be a meth head.  So I raised them girls for 15 and 9 yrs.  I will say, even though I hurt, was the BEST time of my life!  My true meaning of life broke out, was i so ever happy!  Yes, omg yes it was hard, 2 girls?  Trying to explain menstration, etc?  Ackward indeed!  Even after al that, wait, after I did finally get my fusions in my C spine, 4 out of 7, I went back to school, on Fentanal, and obtained my Masters degree in Computer sciences. Got a great new job, awesome income, till a stack of monitors fell on me and broke two of my fusions. I am actually lucky I am alive, or not in a chair!  God, I wished i could still work!  Soc Sec doesnt cut it.  So, what I do, is I am allowed to earn $900.00 a month, tax free, and not effect my soc sec.  So, I do remote access PC repair.  All via sicial media.  Two reasons, I get "real" feedback, that the world can see, and with out it, after expenses, i am left with a total of $28.00 a month!  Thank goodness i can no longer drive!  I CAN drive, but.... I cant turn my head to negotiate safe lane changes, etc.  So I dont need, want nor afford any additional expenses.  I did begin to say, but I honestly feel my sister, whom is a "re-born Christian, wants me out of moms will and is doing every and anything possable to sway her.  Shes 84, and semi forgetful, semi altzeimerish, and speaks like a teacher.  Now me, when I am being falsly accused, my "sailors mouth does me the most damage!  I know this.  Mom hates cursing!  I never curse AT her, but I do have a foul mouth.  It really looks like Sylvia, my sister won.  I do hope and pray that mom is still semi lucid in 3 yeARS, BUT WORST CASE, i cant even attend her funeral  Why and what has happened to her, God really only knows.  I know it is no more than a fasad, to make her "seem" as if she wouldnt, nor coun not lie!  If I never see her again, I wouldnt cry, sad yes, we were close at one time and I cant just tell my mom to stop speaking to me on fb!  Even though thaqts how the judge decided the 1st year, that I "harrassed her there.  All I ever did was to respond.  Oh my, Its 4;18am HERE IN CALI.  I thought it was time to let you know a bit about me!  One small favor?  Pro, or con, if you do care to respond to me, please, do be honest?  Even if it may hurt, I may just need that!  And yes, i have said a lot of God stuff, but, I am far from religious, spiritual yes i am!  I just want my moms last years shared with my sister.  Any inheritance, yes, honestly, would be nice, but I dont want it for me, I want my mom, and no more!  Thank you for the time, and your eyes to read, if you did.  And yes, omg yes, do i ever want to be happy and free of this.  Its far worse than my pain,  Thanks agin, with all my heart, Steve 
Hi All,
So far, I am really ty fast.happy to have run in here, by error.  I was looking for a group, a forum, or a chat community, where people in chronic pain could share thier strengths experiences and hopes.  Well, I felt welcome here mighty fast!  I still have my derned tears rolling down my face, If anyone has looked at my facebook.... suddenly, out of the blue, my mom starts talking at me.  Too funny tho, she just obtained a restaining order for 3 additional years.  Thats after her 1st one which lasted a year.. That was hard enough!  Reason?  I spoke to her thru this medium, FB.  And didnt go to court.  Two reasons, one, it would haave done me no good, and 2, I had awaited 3 months for a RFTC. (Radio Frequency Thermo Coagulation.)  Where there enter my spinal cord area, and actually burn the nerves that send the signal "PAIN" to my brain.  Its worked b4, well, gave me a years worth of 40% to the better.  I was estatic to get it again.  Now, she realizes I am hurting like all hell, and she talks to me on FB?  Shes called me on the phone, but, i havent picked it up.  In fact, I think I NEED to stop comunicating to her period.  You see, my entire family, including, and mostly my younger sister, refer to me as an addict.  Reason?  I DO take daily oral pain meds.  Too many to say, and One thing I am glad this isnt just a "forum" that sells drugs to dopers.  I need it!  If I dont have 2 tablets on my nighttand, with a glass a water, next to me, I am so deeply in pain, I dont have very much desire to get out of bed.  Thats in about usually 20 - 30 minutes.  Then.. geeeez, I take my capsuls, which are time released, but dont actually last 24 hours.  I sleep about 3 hours every night.  Have I ever taken too many?  I have to admit yes, there have been times where i wouldnt recall if i took my last dosage.  Does that effect me?  No, i truely think not!  I have actually an extra two months worth of meds, I am working for three months, just incase of a large calamity, like I'm in Cali... We could have a huge quake, and well, I'd rather be safe than sorry.  I know what my body does after he initial detox.  Yes, I went there too, via a :intervention" and my daughter, who was 9 at the time could hardly breath, readng her letter.  OMG, what a mistake, I was a truck driver, delivering beverages when I got hurt... Never got better, but, my daughter wasnt yet born, I knew we needed insurance, so, even tho all the docs, even the company docs, told me I needed to stop, I couldnt,!  There would be no way we could ever pay for Cobra, pre-natal, post natal, and all the well baby stuff.  Oh.. lol... btw...  Her mother had left her her sister, and I, and decided to be a meth head.  So I raised them girls for 15 and 9 yrs.  I will say, even though I hurt, was the BEST time of my life!  My true meaning of life broke out, was i so ever happy!  Yes, omg yes it was hard, 2 girls?  Trying to explain menstration, etc?  Ackward indeed!  Even after al that, wait, after I did finally get my fusions in my C spine, 4 out of 7, I went back to school, on Fentanal, and obtained my Masters degree in Computer sciences. Got a great new job, awesome income, till a stack of monitors fell on me and broke two of my fusions. I am actually lucky I am alive, or not in a chair!  God, I wished i could still work!  Soc Sec doesnt cut it.  So, what I do, is I am allowed to earn $900.00 a month, tax free, and not effect my soc sec.  So, I do remote access PC repair.  All via sicial media.  Two reasons, I get "real" feedback, that the world can see, and with out it, after expenses, i am left with a total of $28.00 a month!  Thank goodness i can no longer drive!  I CAN drive, but.... I cant turn my head to negotiate safe lane changes, etc.  So I dont need, want nor afford any additional expenses.  I did begin to say, but I honestly feel my sister, whom is a "re-born Christian, wants me out of moms will and is doing every and anything possable to sway her.  Shes 84, and semi forgetful, semi altzeimerish, and speaks like a teacher.  Now me, when I am being falsly accused, my "sailors mouth does me the most damage!  I know this.  Mom hates cursing!  I never curse AT her, but I do have a foul mouth.  It really looks like Sylvia, my sister won.  I do hope and pray that mom is still semi lucid in 3 yeARS, BUT WORST CASE, i cant even attend her funeral  Why and what has happened to her, God really only knows.  I know it is no more than a fasad, to make her "seem" as if she wouldnt, nor coun not lie!  If I never see her again, I wouldnt cry, sad yes, we were close at one time and I cant just tell my mom to stop speaking to me on fb!  Even though thaqts how the judge decided the 1st year, that I "harrassed her there.  All I ever did was to respond.  Oh my, Its 4;18am HERE IN CALI.  I thought it was time to let you know a bit about me!  One small favor?  Pro, or con, if you do care to respond to me, please, do be honest?  Even if it may hurt, I may just need that!  And yes, i have said a lot of God stuff, but, I am far from religious, spiritual yes i am!  I just want my moms last years shared with my sister.  Any inheritance, yes, honestly, would be nice, but I dont want it for me, I want my mom, and no more!  Thank you for the time, and your eyes to read, if you did.  And yes, omg yes, do i ever want to be happy and free of this.  Its far worse than my pain,  Thans ain, with all my heart, Steve. Finally, IF there happenns to be an attorny, or student, whom could poss advise me, I'll barter my computer skills in return, if I have any rights, or do's or dont's.