Bad to worse

David was bugging me to take the dog for a walk.  I told him 1)  he must wear a helmet when riding his bike 2)  I didn't want him riding in the street at night on the main road as he does not have lights on his bike.  So he is out riding his bike in the cul de sac as I am going to walk the dog and I tell him to take his bike back and go in.  Yesterday, he kept going in the street for gosh sakes, in the dark, at night with dark clothes on and no helmet.  And it's the law.  And my uncle's head was crushed in in a car accident 2 days ago.  DAvid just gets pissed and throws his bike, literally, into the shed.  I walk around the block and hear David screaming from the other side of the block.  I come home and David is throwing one of his fits because Paul told him to clean up his mess.  Several arguments.  David keeps screaming at me and saying I exagerate too much.  He wasn't ridiing in the street.  UGH!  He is such a liar!  He simply can't face up to his mistakes.  Then he stands up from the chair, throws the chair back and gets in my face and yells "leave me alone!"  He is 12 and is now as tall as me.  I am 5'1" and he is 5'.  So yes, I took it as threatening.  Again he is screaming that I am exaggerating.  I mean, throwing a chair, puffing your chest and screaming in my face is NOT threatening?  And he keeps screaming that he didn't do it.  So Paul comes in and he flips out.  And he gets this big walking stick and begins hitting David's bunk beds over and over until the thing shatters into a zillion pieces, putting dings in the ceiling and big dings on the wooden bed.   I am so tired.  We go to the counselor tomorrow.  Paul says he wants to commit David.  I know that won't happen.  They will probably lock us up first.  I don't know how to get through to this kid.  He blames everyone else.  And he busted the toy he was smashing yesterday out of anger and then, pouff!  Just threw it away.  NBD!  It's like sometimes he just doesn't care.  What does he care about?  I know he cares about the dog.  I guess that is about it.  I am so tired.  I am so tired.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I\'m sorry, but WHAT?? Paul did WHAT? Isn\'t he the adult. Here I was about to comment on David\'s behaviors and that all went out the window when I read about Paul hitting the bed with a stick. What on earth does he think that is teaching David?
Yes, David\'s behavior to you was threatening. You are correct. And no, you are not exaggerating or overprotective. It is ridiculous and stupid to ride in the dark without lights/reflective gear and clothing, and without a helmet (ever).
Sounds like Paul needs individual counseling. His reactions are out of control.
And you, my dear, how do you stay calm and sane in this hurricane? Please know that your reactions are appropriate and that you are setting limits that are reasonable. I hope you have someone to talk to and also get some breaks and time to yourself.
BIG HUGS
JoyceMarilyn
JoyceMarilyn

Ohh how heart wrenching for both you and Paul! Paul must be at the end of his rope, nothing either of you do works and does not know what to do next! Hope the counselor is an angle sent for heaven!
Yes David is a threat to both you and David, do not take that fact lightly!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Ohh dear how horrible for everyone in the household. Good luck with the counselor and you are in my thoughts and prayers
deleted_user
deleted_user

I see you have a younger son too?
Maybe the 12 yrd is acting out because he feels he isn\'t getting enough attention? Maybe each of you can spend one on one time? Do you get one on one time?
I have a 12 yr old also who looks big enough to be an adult. I have to remind myself that they are still kids & puberty is right around the corner.
I sympathize with your hubby...Threats shouldn\'t be taken lightly. Maybe not use that method, but I deff understand.
deleted_user
deleted_user

so sorry sweetie. your in my prayers!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Your in my prayers too!!!! Maybe counciling will help. You have EVERY RIGHT to be UPSET!!! HUGS!!!