Bad morning
Last night Roomie preceeded to tell me that my Christmas present was a tv to set next to the treadmill i dont use. On top of that i dont watch tv.
Im a size 6 at 5'9 so I dont know what he was trying to get at. It sat my anorexia off as I went out and bought 100 cal shakes which I plan to live on. Instead of eating dinner ill avoid the kitchen and just go to bed early.
I honestly just wish I could disappear somewhere but i have no plans and no where to go. I purposley only paid half my phone bill...and debating letting it shut off for a month. The only thing i worry about is potentially missing a call Christmas day from my daughter who hasnt called in 3 years...i may just leave it turned on and shut it off indefinately. Im so sick of everything.
Replies
Are you in touch with your doctor about going off your meds recently? I know you were taking something new and decided to stop taking it (if I remember correctly). Maybe a check in would be good, just to reset a bit?
No..my doctor never called back which is bad.
She probably doenst have time since the conveyor belt of people going in and out of her office wont stop.
Looked like a pain clinic.
Hope I'm not going off topic here, but I like hidey holes. My hidey hole provisions aren't as health conscious as yours, but. . . Step away from my bugs, Sister. . .
While saluting the psycho nag flags of isolation, I still believe there are times my hidey holes are actually helpful. In balanced doses, the stillness calms my over-stimulated nerves. At least, that's my theory and I'm sticking to it.
Hope healing happens here, Sage. Easy does it. I'll betcha dollars to wishes roomie was just taking his best guess and hoping for a happy ending.
When I stopped worrying about what other people thought of me was when I found eternal peace, and happiness!
Doesn't matter if she has ton of patients. Follow up again. Most doctors are overworked and have too many patients. I have great doctors who are really busy and I still have to follow up with them sometimes. That is just part of our role in our own care. You kind of gotta be a pest. Ask if you can leave a message with a nurse if you aren't getting anywhere. Be very clear and direct, that you are off your meds and things are starting to go south. Call every day if you have to.
What your roommate is trying to say or not trying to say... honestly it doesn't matter. You sound depressed. You sound in need. So come on now; call your doc to try to turn this around.
Bob in Maine...i could honestly give 2 shakes of what anyone thinks of me...its more my own personal demons i fight regarding weight.
Arfie. Yes...a nice treehouse would be good just about right now. I dk...i never mentioned wanting a tv or even watch tv more than a couple hrs a week if that much. Its just not thoughtful but...i guess i should be happy i just got anything;)
RMB,
I dont think Im going south just venting. Im tired of trying to find the right meds. Im just excepting that Im a broken individual and may not be able to fix things.
Take care of you. Blessings.
Personally, I get allot of mileage out of accepting my broken parts. A machine don't need to be perfect to get where it needs to go. Just go easy on the vulnerable spots as you go.
Saying you planned on living on 100 calorie shakes instead of eating, considering shutting off your phone and wishing you could just disappear didn’t come across as venting to me. Sorry I misinterpreted.
I was venting and reacting to how i felt regarding the whole tv thing. Truth is...Roomie is 58 and set in his ways. He'll never feel like he has to work hard in a relationship. He is past the point of carrying whether he has one or not and this is what i feel is unfair. Did he ever think it was selfish for him to feed me breadcrumbs and little bits of hope to keep me around? He did before. It just makes me angry.