bad head

my ex tells me its because the moon is in mercury. idk what that means all i know is i am a hot mess. i need to stay single yet i keep going from one crazy one to another its like i enjoy the abuse. the last one was horrible and it was fourth time i attempted to date her. resulted in alot of bite marks bruises scratches. was not good at all. only for her to go home and send nasty texts saying she could never be with someone like me because my house was too dirty. really. she said i just make excuses. i work 6o hours a week have 3 kids too many pets flooded my houes 3 times with busted washer. if it was me i would say hey do you need some help not condemn them cause there house was a little messy. this coming from someone two weeks prior told me she wanted end her life cause shes too overwhelmed. hello. what the hell is the matter with me. this time of year is hell mentally for me. no clue how christmas is gonna come never mind find money to heat house and still i could never be as cruel as people i have met lately. i need to use my brain