Bad Day Worthless, Worthless, Worthless
Doesn't matter what I try to do I never make anyone happy. Someday I will be all alone and no one will even speak to me.
They are all angry at me again. My oldest son for who knows what probably trying to communicate with him. I sent him and email and a text with no response from either. Seems he just never wants to talk to me or be in the same room. He now sits as far from me as he can at gatherings and doesn't even hug me hello or goodbye unless I go give him one. I guess I am lucky he will give me one if I hug him first. He so resents how I have given in to his middle brother on things, how I deal with his father, how I push his little brother and who knows what else. We used to be so close and I miss him so.
My middle son well he is always mad. Today I did not text him back when he forgot what time I am taking him to the movies today. So he and his girl missed part of their church share service. I am assuming she missed her family members singing or preaching and it is my fault although I set it up well over a week ago and they both agreed to the day and he agreed to the time. He is also mad at me as I am trying to surprise his girl with a birthday dinner at her favorite restaurant and he planned it all for 5pm on THursday when he knows his dad doesn't get home until 6pm, but it is my fault.
My husband well I dared to ask if he was going to take the bag of trash with him out to the garbage. He said he was and I said well I didn't know if you saw it. He said he does see things occasionally you know. He is also upset over possibly opening some Christmas presents today when Zachary's girl is over. She will spend Christmas with her family. He didn't even talk to me when I suggested it. I guess it is an evil idea. Then of course he too is always, always mad at me about our middle son and how I deal with him.
My youngest son is always mad when I wake him up. He is so hard to wake up I have to do weird stuff like drip water on his head. He hates it. He glares at me and won't speak to me in the mornings, but I can't get him up any other way. Of course he stood there and lied to my face and said he went to bed at midnight when I know he was talking to his semi girlfriend until 3am.
I don't know I just can't say anything right to anybody. Everything is always my fault.
I can't even play video games right. I wanted to connect with my youngest and he has a game he has encourage me to play. So I tried, but he had to switch out of "hard" mode for me and was disgusted when I couldn't even log in on my own. As soon as I gave up he switched right back to hard mode and you could see the relief on his face that I quit playing with him.
I am even a failure at video games.
I don't know why I am even here. No one cares about me. I have no friends, my family just looks at me with disgust. I miss my little boys so who loved me. I miss my mother who loved me. I wonder if anyone will ever care about me again.
They are all angry at me again. My oldest son for who knows what probably trying to communicate with him. I sent him and email and a text with no response from either. Seems he just never wants to talk to me or be in the same room. He now sits as far from me as he can at gatherings and doesn't even hug me hello or goodbye unless I go give him one. I guess I am lucky he will give me one if I hug him first. He so resents how I have given in to his middle brother on things, how I deal with his father, how I push his little brother and who knows what else. We used to be so close and I miss him so.
My middle son well he is always mad. Today I did not text him back when he forgot what time I am taking him to the movies today. So he and his girl missed part of their church share service. I am assuming she missed her family members singing or preaching and it is my fault although I set it up well over a week ago and they both agreed to the day and he agreed to the time. He is also mad at me as I am trying to surprise his girl with a birthday dinner at her favorite restaurant and he planned it all for 5pm on THursday when he knows his dad doesn't get home until 6pm, but it is my fault.
My husband well I dared to ask if he was going to take the bag of trash with him out to the garbage. He said he was and I said well I didn't know if you saw it. He said he does see things occasionally you know. He is also upset over possibly opening some Christmas presents today when Zachary's girl is over. She will spend Christmas with her family. He didn't even talk to me when I suggested it. I guess it is an evil idea. Then of course he too is always, always mad at me about our middle son and how I deal with him.
My youngest son is always mad when I wake him up. He is so hard to wake up I have to do weird stuff like drip water on his head. He hates it. He glares at me and won't speak to me in the mornings, but I can't get him up any other way. Of course he stood there and lied to my face and said he went to bed at midnight when I know he was talking to his semi girlfriend until 3am.
I don't know I just can't say anything right to anybody. Everything is always my fault.
I can't even play video games right. I wanted to connect with my youngest and he has a game he has encourage me to play. So I tried, but he had to switch out of "hard" mode for me and was disgusted when I couldn't even log in on my own. As soon as I gave up he switched right back to hard mode and you could see the relief on his face that I quit playing with him.
I am even a failure at video games.
I don't know why I am even here. No one cares about me. I have no friends, my family just looks at me with disgust. I miss my little boys so who loved me. I miss my mother who loved me. I wonder if anyone will ever care about me again.
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