Bad day today
I am screwing up my screw ups today-that's how bad its gone today. But, on a good note-I got a raise at work. Between that and my instacarting I will be able to put back some money into savings. I've decided to let my friend go-I'm not chasing after people anymore.
I'm always the one reaching out and quite frankly I'm tired of feeling desperate. I continue to work through my feelings at home. I'm more level headed when I take the emotion out of everything or maybe my new meds are kicking in...remains to be seen. I need to clean the house tonight. Think Ill light the fireplace tonight. Is this how it feels without chaos?
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I think you sound completely reasonable, quite honestly.
Congrats on the raise!
Yay you for choosing dignity over people pleasing. May the transformation serve you well.
As my recovery from chaos addiction continues, I still wonder if I will ever really know what a life without chaos feels like. Every time I think I have a clue, I fall off the wagon and the madness resumes as if I never even attempted recovery. I'm told that is the very reason for the axiom that once an addict is always an addict. One sip of excitement is too many and a thousand are not enough. There is no cure. Only recovery.
Further congrats on the raise. May the trend continue.
I think my new meds are causing sleepless nights. Whereas i was in bed by 700pm, im up all random hrs of the night trying ro go back to sleep and I am feelings of dread and losing everything. My meds were doubled yesterday so I can only speculate at this point. Still to early to tell. Ugg
I think we all ask those kind of questions at some point in life where we evaluate what we've done and where we are going.
For me it was finding that happiness inside me where I could live a life I enjoyed living and no longer worry about everyone and every thing. It was accepting myself as I am with flaws and all...
Life is never perfect....we do the best we can and call it good.