Bad bad night
i just posted to main board abou what is going on. i feel so awful. i should kill myself but i don't want to. i need to get my mother out of here and i don't have the time and resources to figure it out. this nightmare has gone on way to long.
i am starting to just not respond or deal with my sister at all. feels good. she'll do whatever she can to destroy me but at this point i don't care as long as i don't have to deal with her at all directly.
i will never forgive her or my brother for the damage they have caused me. NEVER. i look forward to never seeing or speaking to those fuckers again.
my mom, the main thing is that i just need her out of my house. a part of me wants to cut her off too but i don't think i can do that. i need a break from these crazies. i need a fucking loooong break.
hope you are doing better than me.
i need to take some deep breathes. i need to tell myself it's them and not me. it's them and not me. they are crazy and I am sane. deep breathe. i have to believe someone out there is sane and can love me. i have to believe i can survive without them. I HATE THEM. they are evil
Replies
Wish you were able to get more support from your sibs, but they are who they are. One of my tools is to look at all possible options from the most extreme to those more reasonable. I don't know what her capabilities or limitations are, but she does need to be contributing in whatever ways she can. If she can not contribute in any way then it is time for assisted living. She will have others around her, you are free to visit her, and you will have some peace of mind. Just my thoughts with limited information. Comforting hugs as you weigh out your options.
You have to take care of you Anna *big hugs* you won't be any good to your mom if this situation pushes you to commit suicide :( :( :( I believe in you! You are sane! They are crazy!
Love you sis <3
it's so nice to hear from two of my good friends here. you are both so smart and wise. I am starting to look into other kinds of support locally because my therapist is really falling short. and I wrote a strong email to my mom today about taking more responsibility. she said she would try. we'll see. so one day at a time. I feel good about reaching out to others outside my family because it is so obviously a diseased system. it's kind of like trying to find fresh water in a toilet that needs to be flushed. you just can't. you've got to go out looking for a stream or lake somewhere. LOL. but yea, I need to put in the effort because I do think some part of me wanted to continue to hold on to them and try to keep connecting but I feel that I am letting go of that. it's sad in one way but I think it is healthier. I sure as hell have given them lots and lots of chances. seems like it's time to move on. thank you again guys. sorry i'm so needy. i'm working on that too but it's a long road. hope you are both well. xoxoxo wendy
I do not see you as needy W. I see you being in a terrible situation, and we are here to support you as best we can. I like your analogy. It fits. Glad you are ready to set some boundaries. Empowering hugs.
It's sad when you have to cut/off let go of family, but I think you are headed in a very good direction! That is a great analogy btw. It's sooo good to reach out and find help. I'm so excited for this new leaf! <3
Hope things are going better for you, Anna.
Joe
My heart is breaking for u sniff sniff as im writing tears are falling down I sure hope things are better now just breathe slow in & out iys not u at all they want u to think its u so they don't have to face there problems I so wish I could reach right thru here & give u a big hug & say you are not alone(((Gentle*Huggies))))