Back to Zero
Today is Thursday, January 28th and I am once again setting out to stop drinking completely.
This time I've doing things a little differently - I've written a note to my wife asking her to help me in my efforts and I'm also planning to talk to my therapist about it this afternoon.
I've posted on the support group here that I don't know why I drink, and I really don't. I wish I did so I could work on that issue top stop drinking. I guess at some point I found it fun to get drunk but now its not fun and I feel like crap the next day. Why do I do that to myself? When I was a kid I always said I would never drink because I wouldn't want to be hung over and think "I did this to myself" and yet, as an adult, here I am doing it over and over.
This time I've doing things a little differently - I've written a note to my wife asking her to help me in my efforts and I'm also planning to talk to my therapist about it this afternoon.
I've posted on the support group here that I don't know why I drink, and I really don't. I wish I did so I could work on that issue top stop drinking. I guess at some point I found it fun to get drunk but now its not fun and I feel like crap the next day. Why do I do that to myself? When I was a kid I always said I would never drink because I wouldn't want to be hung over and think "I did this to myself" and yet, as an adult, here I am doing it over and over.
Replies
Hey Rich.
I\'m sorry that you got drunk last night but today is a new day. I\'m really glad you are enlisting your wife\'s help and I\'m really glad you are going to talk to your therapist. Do you think that you are self medicating because of depression and/or anxiety? You know I have panic disorder and I think sometimes in the past I drank more than I should\'ve because at the time, it calmed down the high anxiety until I felt like crap the next day which caused anxiety if you know what I mean. I hope that you succeed and I support you fully. I hope that your therapist will have some good suggestions for you moving forward and I wish you the very best.
Hugs ~
Gaye
Me again. I read this entry before I saw your post. I do remember now you mentioning that you have anxiety. You may remember that I have panic disorder I was diagnosed with almost 9 years ago. After reading your post, it\'s a great list you\'ve made Rich and I do hope you\'re going to talk to your therapist about your drinking today. You sound very committed and I know you can do this!
Well Rich I guess the good news is you didn\'t go on a bender. I do hope the drunk wasn\'t too bad as well. As in you didn\'t drive, fight, cry, or cause any drama.
You slipped. It happens. You got to thirty days on your own which is no easy thing to do. Hold on to that. Now you have enlisted the help of your wife and possibly a therapist. Filling up that toolbox is so important I think.
You got any hobbies? I have a bunch now. Currently I am waiting on a Djemba drum. It\'s my reward for my upcoming 90 day mark. My sober drums. At 30 days I got my sober boots. My birthday is in May which will hopefully be 6 months. I\'m getting older so maybe I\'ll get myself a sober face full of Botox. LOL!!! Just kidding. That would be taking this reward system too far. I don\'t play drums but I think it will give me something to do. Also I can take it with me to gatherings and have something to do with my hands that isn\'t drinking. If you don\'t have any hobbies I think you might want to get some. You can do it!! Brush that slip off and move on to begin again. oxox
Rich, If you had cancer, would you spend your time and efforts trying to figure out WHY you contracted cancer, or would you spend your time and effort pursuing the treatment/remission/cure of your cancer?
Trying to figure out the root causes of your drinking or the \"issues\" that cause you to drink is not going to stop your drinking. Even if you have anxiety issues that \"cause\" you to drink, your drinking only exacerbates the situation. I know this to be true. I am diagnosed with bipolar disorder. My mania and depression \"caused\" me to drink, right? Well, the funny thing about it, since I quit drinking, I have been able to manage my disorder without meds or counseling/therapy.
The note to your wife and talking to your therapist are all good and well, but do your wife or therapist have any experience in getting and staying sober? If they don\'t, I would suggest that you find a group of people who have first hand experience with sobriety and follow their lead. Model their behavior. Lucky for you. you can find such a group of people at your local AA meeting.
FWIW, once I realized the WHY of my drinking problem was not nearly as important as the FACT that I had a drinking problem, I was able to concretely address the problem. That was 11 1/2 years ago.